00:00:00.81
Gareth Pickering
I'm here today with Chad Jason. Welcome, Todd. Good to have you here, bud.
00:00:05.36
Todd Jason
Brother, I'm so excited to be here with you and I just appreciate you asking me to be on your show.
00:00:10.77
Gareth Pickering
Thanks, man. Before we dive in, I'd love to give you the opportunity to let the listeners to the show know, perhaps maybe haven't met you before, tell us a little bit about yourself through the lens of like being ah a father, son or brother. Just pick one of those roles that you've played in your life and share something that gets the audience to know who you are.
00:00:30.43
Todd Jason
Yeah, I appreciate that. um Well, I'm all three, father, son, and a brother, ah which is good. um you know I'd say that what comes to me, because I wasn't expecting that question, what comes to me is as a father, being able to give the lessons to my daughter as what I've learned from being a brother and a son. And people ask me, like why do you love being you know a father? And I say, well, one of the greatest things for me is being able to
00:01:01.51
Todd Jason
give back knowledge that I've accumulated in my life or wisdom ah you know to someone else that I'm helping to form and shape in terms of their own soul's understanding. right So you know I look at life and and growth or whatever we're calling this whole existence that we're in as just a pass-through of information. right So from the lens of being a man, being born as a man on this planet, and understanding the lessons of masculinity you know from being a son, from being a brother,
00:01:31.18
Todd Jason
and now being a father is something that I take really seriously you know because there there is a particular perspective and wisdom tradition in what men do. historically and energetically are here to share and teach. And so I really, you know, pride myself on that, not exclusively, right, because there's so much value in other ways of looking at the world. But, um you know, i I, you know, my daughter asked me all the time, she's like, Daddy, would you want to be a mama? I'm like, No, I love being a dad. I love being a man. I love having this particular perspective, you know, and and I honor it, you know, and and I teach her that it's sacred. So I love what you're doing because
00:02:08.86
Todd Jason
you know, this notion of being a father or brother, you know, ah and a son is really important for us to all understand and as men, that you know, like this, this is real, you know, this is a real perspective.
00:02:19.64
Todd Jason
And when we shine a light on it, you know, we can we can get clear and clear about what that means for each one of us individually, but also come together in conversations like this and in groups like you run and I run that are like,
00:02:26.97
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
00:02:31.28
Todd Jason
No, how do we actually take the best qualities of ah masculinity and manhood and put it into action in these lenses? So I just why I just honor and I love what you do, because it's really, and really important part of the conversation.
00:02:41.99
Gareth Pickering
Thanks, man. Beautiful. I noticed you differentiated there between um lessons and information and wisdom. How do you how do you differentiate those as as you as you spoke about them in your role of being a father?
00:02:56.13
Todd Jason
I think wisdom is timeless. you know Wisdom exists and our job is to clear away all that which blocks us from the pass-through of information that exists in the greater field.
00:03:10.69
Gareth Pickering
Mm-hmm.
00:03:10.91
Todd Jason
um And so the lessons are the revelatory moments that happen along the way where we can actually clear out and we get some insight or wisdom which exist.
00:03:21.94
Todd Jason
Right? So information exists. And I'll just give you one clear example. One of the practices that I've really dove into in my life, I love meditation. I'm a big meditation guy. um I've done several, many different types of meditation retreats. One of the most impactful was something called Vipassana, a 10 day silent ah meditation retreat, which comes from the Buddhist tradition. It's apparently the actual technique of meditation that the historical Buddha Siddhartha Gautama taught 3,500 years ago is this practice of Vipassana. I'm not going to get into the technique itself, but during these 10 days, you're silent and you're sitting and you're going through this very specific practice for 10, 12 hours a day of meditation. And what I found in that practice is relevant to your question because
00:04:07.61
Todd Jason
what the practice does, it gets rid of all these grosser layers of thinking. And when I say gross, I don't mean like disgusting, but I mean, just kind of ways that we're thinking about the world so we can get clearer and clearer about what the wisdom is that exists through the human vehicle.
00:04:21.19
Gareth Pickering
Uh-huh.
00:04:22.95
Todd Jason
And that's where the lessons emerge. So for me, the process of growing is one by which we're shedding the obscurations which are holding us back from actually understanding the truth. you know And there are truths that exist for all human beings that make us joyful, happy, kinder, you know that that represent the best of us. So I think the lessons are the postmarks along the way that allow us access to the more timeless truths or wisdom that exist. And so that's how I view growth.
00:04:55.93
Gareth Pickering
Mm, so good. You took me straight back to ah the one 10 day B person that I sat when I was in Costa Rica and, uh, fuck me. I was so fresh in my meditation journey.
00:05:06.37
Todd Jason
Oh, next time.
00:05:09.19
Gareth Pickering
I'm like, let me try this. I'm like, ah yeah, bro. Growth advocates. I'm like, let me jump into this. Wow. I mean, it was so interesting to notice that as you said, like, The base level of reality has like so much story on top of it, including sensation in the body, you know, like noticing where I thought that it was painful, unbearably painful for, you know, 20 minutes and then gone into bliss then the moment afterwards. And all I've done is sit completely still and watch that. And yeah, just being able to move through those layers and watch how much of my reality is created just through narrative that comes in my head.
00:05:44.18
Gareth Pickering
Yeah, it was a powerful a powerful initiation for me, I would say. I haven't been back. I feel it coming into my world. And I think I would be a little more prepared now, like my meditation practice is pretty solid, but I haven't been back to revisit it. How many of you have you sat?
00:05:58.76
Todd Jason
Well, I've done like seven of them. But I will say that I felt the same thing after my first one. I'll go back. That'll be easier.
00:06:04.62
Gareth Pickering
No.
00:06:05.09
Todd Jason
I got to tell you, it's interesting. Like, you you you know, it's it's interesting. Just be humble. I think part of the growth journey is constantly being humbled, you know, along the way.
00:06:10.32
Gareth Pickering
Uh-huh.
00:06:13.38
Gareth Pickering
Mm-hmm.
00:06:14.45
Todd Jason
But I think what you said is really important. The amount of pain, physical pain that I felt in those 10 day retreats is hard to describe, maybe the most pain I've ever been in.
00:06:25.99
Todd Jason
i mean you know and and And it's very unexpected because you're just sitting there you know somewhat comfortably you know ah for you know hours a day.
00:06:31.85
Gareth Pickering
You start comfortably. Yeah.
00:06:33.51
Todd Jason
It's unbelievable how much pain you're in. And I think that's part of the journey is to be able to observe your mind's perception over the sensory experience.
00:06:35.46
Gareth Pickering
Yes.
00:06:39.96
Gareth Pickering
Mm-hmm.
00:06:42.71
Todd Jason
And just to be able to observe it, I mean, at the end of the day, I think that's the largest, we're we're diving into the deep end of the pool right now. Okay, like, they are is my we're going right in.
00:06:48.85
Gareth Pickering
Yeah, thank you. Yeah, let's go.
00:06:51.57
Todd Jason
Because in my my opinion, this whole thing, you know, to really grow and like understand your purpose and like live your best life, the ability to become the witness or the observer to your experience.
00:07:04.59
Todd Jason
is one of the most powerful things that you can possibly learn how to do. That's what meditation is, where you're actually be able to pull back and watch your narrative, watch your monkey mind, as the Buddhists call it, just go without being reactionary or a slave to it in some extent.
00:07:20.65
Gareth Pickering
Mmhmm.
00:07:21.12
Todd Jason
So when you're doing something like Vipassana for 10 days, and you're just given a practice where you're pulling back and observing, the physical sensations become paramount.
00:07:31.23
Todd Jason
You're like, wow, I'm in a tremendous amount of pain.
00:07:31.25
Gareth Pickering
Mmhmm.
00:07:33.98
Todd Jason
And then your mind wants to go into that, but you're being trained to actually just observe the pain. And then you you see it never lasts. Then you go into a state of bliss. And then you're like, oh, wow, I'm in a state of bliss. And then that doesn't last.
00:07:45.14
Todd Jason
And then you go into a state of confusion, and then that doesn't last. And then you go into a state of clarity. You're like, oh my God, I know exactly what I'm here to do. And then that doesn't last. So the whole thing is an experience of ah the impermanence of being alive, right? Like this whole thing is a process and is an impermanent, and that's the lesson itself, which is what a practice like that does. So I love that you share the physical part of it, because that was my experience too in the times that I've done it.
00:08:10.80
Gareth Pickering
You know, I went in again, like not knowing what to expect. And I was like, oh, you know what? This is going to be great. I want to have 10 days to think about my next business idea. I sat down and I just went into like every single woman I've ever been with in my entire life.
00:08:24.12
Gareth Pickering
And I was like, what is going on here? Like, can I just take a break from this?
00:08:26.27
Todd Jason
Okay.
00:08:28.44
Gareth Pickering
It didn't stop and it didn't stop. And, you know, on reflection, when I, when I finally had a few moments to be able to catch myself and then afterwards, I was like, Oh, I see what's happening here. Like the ego is coming under a huge amount of attack because it's witnessing. I'm getting to witness as you explained the witness consciousness to be able to see the fact that this narrative just carries on. And actually, I don't have any control over it. It just happens on its own. But when I can observe it,
00:08:53.03
Gareth Pickering
It starts to feel like it's under attack. And so as a result, for me, it went back to like the things that were the most powerful energetic experiences in my life, which sexuality has definitely been one of them. So when I'm thinking I'm going to be calm and relaxed as I start to go to that place of deep introspection and some sort of disillusionment of what I think reality is.
00:09:12.38
Gareth Pickering
the ego is pulling out the kitchen sink and bringing me back to all of the sexual fantasies I've had, the things I haven't done with women, like all of that stuff. And I was like, why is it so relentless?
00:09:22.51
Todd Jason
Yeah.
00:09:22.55
Gareth Pickering
And I got to notice that, that opportunity to just be in witness consciousness and be like, oh, and then it's gone.
00:09:28.14
Todd Jason
And then it's gone.
00:09:28.12
Gareth Pickering
And then it's back, and then it's back, and then it's gone again.
00:09:29.53
Todd Jason
And then it's gone. Right.
00:09:30.92
Gareth Pickering
And you're like, oh, wow, this is just a this is just a cycle. And the medicine for me has been bringing that into my life. you know like I look, I look into the world and I sometimes see challenge, you know, the world's growing too quickly, we're cutting down too many trees, it's like heartbreaking for me. And then I'm like, this is just the impermanent nature of what is, you know, it's things are continually changing. If I'm trying to hold on to what I think it should be, it just creates suffering for me. So just an acceptance and loving of exactly what is, has been the practice of trying to bring that back into my life.
00:10:00.89
Todd Jason
I think that's well said, you know, and something that I really agree with is, um you know, there's a lot of us out there that like, look at the atrocities in the world, then there are, you know, it's like, what can we do? And part of my whole philosophy is, and I know this is somewhat controversial, right? You know, even people in my family don't love that I stand for this. But my opinion, the greatest thing that we can do as individuals to make a positive contribution to the world,
00:10:23.94
Todd Jason
is to do exactly what we're talking about here, which is to transform our own consciousness and to unleash our own highest version of love and kindness and empathy from the inside out um and and to share that deep, sacred experience of life here, like right here in the right now, and have that spread to the people in our lives, to the people in our communities, you know and and not and try to resist the bashing of everything that we perceive to be wrong in the world. okay Because the activist energy
00:11:02.79
Todd Jason
is very, very powerful. And I understand it as well. I mean, I i have it as well. You know, it's not like I'm sitting on some mountaintop. I mean, I look out into the world and, you know, it's really painful to see and I question, wow, what kind of world am I bringing my daughter up in sometimes? Then I remember that all the great wisdom traditions I've been around, all the great teachers I've been around have said to me and shared in their own ways,
00:11:25.38
Todd Jason
witness that pain that you're having and understand that that it's all being derived from an internal mechanism and your real pathway is to transcend that internal mechanism of pain, of suffering, of of ah scarcity.
00:11:41.69
Todd Jason
you know of all these things that are negative you know from the inside out.
00:11:41.96
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:11:45.59
Todd Jason
So I'm a real stand for inside out you know as the way to change the world, right to literally to change the world when enough people, you know I really believe this, are doing this kind of work and really, really standing for love and kindness and connection and the good of people.
00:12:01.15
Todd Jason
There is a critical mass of people that you know, like will wake up that Margaret Mead quote, you know, that I love so much, which is, you know, that a small number of people has always been the mechanism for changing the world. And I'm not quoting it directly, by the way, Gareth, I i apologize. But the the the quote is really powerful where she says that it's always these groups of people that come together with a new idea to change the world. And so I'm just a stand for that, you know, and I can't control events on the outside, but what I can control is my own experience of them and then how I share my own thinking, my own thoughts, my own expression with those in my life, with those on this podcast, with my daughter, my family, with my community.
00:12:43.43
Todd Jason
you know and i And that's enough. but For me, like that's enough. And that's what I have power over to do. And there's a lot of people like you and I doing this. So while we look out into the world and we're like, wow, like shit is falling apart.
00:12:55.32
Todd Jason
right let Let's be honest. like It's like, wow, like things are bad out there in so many different ways.
00:12:56.68
Gareth Pickering
Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
00:12:59.98
Todd Jason
the other side, I just believe deeply that there's something else emerging here that is beautiful, that that does hold the possibility of real transcendence in ways that we can't even understand right now.
00:13:07.45
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:13:12.74
Todd Jason
um And so I just go to that mystery and I go to that feeling that frequency and I connect with it, you know, and it gives me hope, it gives me hope and it gives me a reason, you know, to get up and do what I'm doing, you know, and sharing more kindness and love in the world.
00:13:24.35
Todd Jason
So sorry for that spiel. But that's a really important piece about like, why, you know, we're here.
00:13:29.87
Gareth Pickering
That I agree 100% I think whatever we see out in the world is a mirror of our internal reality. And so that's what you're saying. you know that only The only thing the world needs from us is the best version of ourselves you know to keep showing up for that.
00:13:41.55
Todd Jason
right.
00:13:42.23
Gareth Pickering
And then you know what what looks like it's broken out there is probably just a reflection of the collective brokenness where we've separated from love, some part of us that's not in love with ourselves.
00:13:51.03
Todd Jason
Yeah.
00:13:52.21
Gareth Pickering
And I think that's the work to do. Just keep coming back and loving and accepting all the parts of ourselves. Because going into separation with that, creates that that scarcity and disconnection that you're talking about.
00:14:02.43
Gareth Pickering
And then we see it in the world, you know, some sense that I'm not part of the whole, so I need to hoard resources or continually, you know, go into the, yeah, the aversion for for what is in the world.
00:14:13.26
Gareth Pickering
And um yeah, I think that's some important stuff. I want to ask you what you said. What do people say when you said it's sometimes controversial? Like that opinion was controversial.
00:14:22.08
Todd Jason
but just this whole notion of, well, I'm just going to focus on myself and and focus on my own perceptions, on my own my own personal work. right And I'm not going to go out there and try to like change the systems and be like an activist.
00:14:30.44
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:14:35.87
Todd Jason
you know like For example, you know my my sister, who's like my best friend in the world. I love my sister. She's a teacher. She's a school teacher and in New York. And she's very activist-oriented. like I mean, literally, i this woman is powerful.
00:14:47.63
Todd Jason
like She's little older than me. She's super powerful. And she she like getting technology and phones out of the school systems like is a big thing right now. that' it's like ah It's an issue that she's attacking.
00:15:00.18
Todd Jason
And it's necessary because you know having phones and and and and all this stuff you know has really changed you know the brainway patterns of young children, right?
00:15:00.65
Gareth Pickering
Thank you, thank God.
00:15:08.94
Todd Jason
and it's And she's seen the result of it as a teacher. And so she has been like banging the bell along with a lot of other people.
00:15:12.63
Gareth Pickering
m
00:15:17.19
Todd Jason
We're now, and at this moment in time when we're having this interview, there is change happening there you know at at ah at a level that you know is going to take these phones out of schools, at least in New York right now.
00:15:28.57
Todd Jason
So the work that she's doing is important right because it is making a positive change. um But it's exhausted her, and and there's been a lot of negative impact, at least from my experience with her and her own life, because of the anger and the resentment of the system that has created the technologies you know and the profitable companies, fake Meta and Google, that are pushing technology you know for money that are ruining, in her opinion, the lives of these children.
00:15:51.78
Gareth Pickering
Mhmm.
00:15:56.79
Todd Jason
And so there's a lot of anger and resentment in her body.
00:15:57.36
Gareth Pickering
Mhmm.
00:16:00.92
Todd Jason
you know, around all this, you know, and I don't judge it, but I just give her the reflection, you know, back like, is there a way
00:16:01.32
Gareth Pickering
Mhmm.
00:16:08.23
Todd Jason
to be a stand for the good, what you believe in, in a way where you're also not so incredibly angry you know and hateful around the system. So so for me, for me like my choice in life, because she pushes me, she's like, look, you have a platform. like Why are you not taking on issues like this? I go, the issue that I am concerned about is every person that's in my field, I just want them to live their best possible life.
00:16:34.61
Todd Jason
you know And like this is an important point because I think the most unselfish thing that you can do as a human right now is to do the work of your own inner excavation and finding your own true authentic voice. you know And doing this work to clear out all that isn't that.
00:16:54.16
Todd Jason
Like doing the personal growth work, doing the spiritual development work, I think this is the most important thing that each one of us needs to be doing. And so and people are like, well, I don't have time for that. You know, I need to work. I need to make money. I need to go do this. I need to do this. And I can't tell you as a coach for 20 years how much burnout I've seen.
00:17:12.48
Todd Jason
you know and like For my sister as well, like how much just utter burnout happens when you're constantly trying to rail against the system you know and you're not doing the work to like honor your own sacred consciousness and like understand and bring the best of you out in the world. so For me, my stance and my lens is very much focused on every human that I'm around is like, who are you? Like, what are you here to do? How can you find your own joy, your own inner peace? How can you find your own inner love? Let's uncover that first and foremost. And then from there, you're fueled up to then go do whatever you need to do in the external world. So my message on that Gareth is,
00:17:53.24
Todd Jason
The most unselfish thing you can do in the world is to be selfish around your own growth, around your own understanding of who you are, and have that be the driver of all your activity. And and and that can be controversial for some people. Some people are like hearing that. Like, no, we need to do things. Look at what's happening in the world. I get it. Like, I totally get it. But for me, it's it's more important to do that inner work first.
00:18:18.80
Gareth Pickering
So how do you how do you guide your clients or someone that you may be like your sister as an example? What's the right balance between those two? Because I hear you saying it's important to take a stand for something that you believe in that could be her mission. What's the what's the the mechanism for measurement of where you move out of alignment with that, that could eventually lead to burnout.
00:18:37.95
Gareth Pickering
Like how do you support somebody in those spaces? Because there's a polarity, right? there There's doing the inner work, but then it's not just sitting and doing, you actually need to take a stand for whatever your unique mission is or your purpose is.
00:18:42.72
Todd Jason
Yeah.
00:18:48.05
Gareth Pickering
So what's the balance for someone listening to this? That's like, they've got both. what How do you guide people around that?
00:18:53.62
Todd Jason
Yeah, it's a great, okay. It's a great question. And I will say this, and this is just coming from experience and you can read books on burnout. Burnout's a real thing, right? I mean, like, and it's a medical thing now, right?
00:19:00.36
Gareth Pickering
Yes.
00:19:01.86
Todd Jason
So even talking about burnout, you have to be careful because, you know, it's a medical term now that has, you know, um, implications clinically speaking.
00:19:02.49
Gareth Pickering
yes
00:19:09.89
Todd Jason
And I've worked
00:19:10.08
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:19:11.24
Todd Jason
I spent a year and a half working with Kaiser Permanente, a huge healthcare organization working with hundreds, maybe even thousands of doctors ah in California. And talk about burnout. I mean, you know these are people that are doing surgeries on us. okay These are people that are like literally like like doing God's work in a way, but the system that they're in is set up for them to fail as humans. I'm just being straight out.
00:19:39.28
Todd Jason
i mean
00:19:39.53
Gareth Pickering
number of work hours, that type of stuff, working conditions.
00:19:41.11
Todd Jason
it's it's It's absurd. but what It's basically like four full-time jobs, three of which they weren't trained for. you know And and it's very very it's a real problem you know that we have, at least in the United States, you know how bad this is. And so I've dealt a lot with people that are in these situations. you know and And then I come on and I say these things and they're like, well, it's easy for you to say, but like this is just you know the situation you know that we're in. So my point is is that First off, if you're listening to this, you want to do everything that you can to have this perspective as early as you possibly can because it's very easy to get to the point where it's very hard to recapture, you know, your humanity, you know, and you're like literally like moved kind of past a point.
00:20:24.37
Todd Jason
I don't want to say of no return, but sometimes it is of like, wow, like I haven't, I can't even catch myself right now. I don't have time.
00:20:30.06
Gareth Pickering
You dug in too deep or something.
00:20:30.32
Todd Jason
There's an overwhelm. You wanna catch yourself as early as you can and you wanna get back to you know a level of practice, right?
00:20:32.02
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:20:38.74
Todd Jason
Like the practice of meditation, the practice of going outside and breathing air every single day, right? Of feeling love and kindness you know and all that. But the big practice for me, you know, and all this that's helped a lot of people is a practice of getting clarity, you know, of asking yourself, of asking your as a human being, like, what, why am I here? Like, what is it that I'm here to do? What would make me really happy?
00:21:05.33
Todd Jason
in this short little life that I have, Gareth. You and I are on this call right now, and it's really awesome, and we're excited. But both of us are impermanent, and we're here for this tiny little blip in the matrix. And we take our lives so damn seriously. We take our money situations, our relationships, our past. like We're so in it in ourselves.
00:21:24.35
Todd Jason
And it's that thing that we're so in that we need to be able to put into perspective and ask o ourselves the bigger question with the understanding that we're finite. you know And there's a short period of time where I am individuated as Todd Jason, and you're individuated as Gareth Pickering. And that can be scary for some people, but it's but it's true. you know And it's real. So for me, I always push people and say, hey, look, let let's just stop for a moment. let's just Let's just breathe you know for a moment. okay like You are where you're at right now, that's fine. And then I start asking him, like what is it that you really want? What would make you really happy and joyful? What kind of life, starting right now, could have you look back on that would bring you some excitement, that would bring you some joy, that would bring you some sense of fulfillment that maybe is missing right now? And this is a practice that I call getting clarity.
00:22:18.26
Todd Jason
ah you know And clarity is kind of like my whole thing right now because what I found is that in the process of asking people these bigger questions, okay, and I could talk a lot about this, I'm sure you're gonna ask me, but in the process, yeah, and we will, but in the process of asking this bigger question, it's actually really fascinating what happens.
00:22:28.88
Gareth Pickering
Where are you going there?
00:22:35.36
Todd Jason
And I have a lot of years of experience like guiding people through this process of getting clarity because once you put that nut out there and you extend the timeline and you say to somebody, look, I'm 51 years old as we're doing this talk,
00:22:48.18
Todd Jason
Okay, let's say I have another 40, 50 years, God willing, you know banging around this planet. That would be amazing. what What could I actually look back on in the next 40, 50 years? That would be like, man, like I did it. like I live my life with such a sense of fullness, such a sense of adventure, such a sense of service, of giving back. like What vision of that life you know is so compelling for me that it makes me want to get up and try to make some of those things happen.
00:23:13.68
Todd Jason
And the last thing I'll share on this is ah I got certified in holistic health counseling years back by this wonderful school called the Institute of Integrative Nutrition in New York, a long time ago. IIN, they're really big now. And there was a speaker there, Dr. Andrew Weil, who wrote this book called Spontaneous Healing, really famous guy. I mean, Andrew Weil is amazing. You should read that book, everybody, if you haven't. And he said something that was so profound to me and he said, he gets up there and he's like, look,
00:23:39.53
Todd Jason
When I die, I'm going to go fast because all of my my talents, all of my gifts, all of my energy was used. like My spirit was fully used. And now I'm ready to go. like My body is done. My spirit is done. I'm ready. He's like, and that's the proper way to do this. And most people aren't doing that. like All their talents and gifts are being sequestered and blocked.
00:24:02.45
Todd Jason
you know and their true authentic selves are being blocked, but we're here to free that up. And that just really moved me when he said that, because I was like, oh yeah, like that that is what this is about, is that there is a specialness to me and to you and to all of us, and let's find out what that is, let's explore it. And I found that this getting clarity process, something that does free people up, you know to give them openness to finding that.
00:24:25.36
Gareth Pickering
Oh, so good. So his expression, his idea was that the gifts unexpressed slow your spirit down when it leaves the body when you die. Something to that effect.
00:24:33.86
Todd Jason
Yeah, it's like, so another another way to look at this is um when I first moved to California in 2010, I had a girlfriend who worked in hospice. And so I couldn't help myself.
00:24:44.71
Todd Jason
right you know that Hospice is is people who have six months or less to live. They go to this like special palliative care hospital you know where they're going to die. People know they're going to die.
00:24:53.62
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:24:54.70
Todd Jason
And, and I started going with her to volunteer, you know, because I wanted to talk to these people and I couldn't help myself, you know, I was like, I was asking people, you know, like, what lesson do you have? I started to like, almost interview them, you know, because I would go day after day.
00:25:05.62
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
00:25:06.99
Todd Jason
And, you know, it was always the same thing, Gareth, like, you know, people, most people live with a lot of regret, a lot of oh like, they're at the end of their life, they're at the end of their life, and they're looking at a guy that they don't even know, they're on their bed, and they're just like,
00:25:24.21
Todd Jason
They have like ah weeks or months to live. And they have no energy. Their body's shutting down.
00:25:30.32
Gareth Pickering
ah
00:25:30.58
Todd Jason
And you know they look at me, and they would just tell me all the things that they shouldn't have done or all the things that they should have tried to do. you know and And just over and over again, you would hear this like sense of regret around, oh my god, I'll never forget this one woman she had an estranged son that she hadn't talked to in 20 years.
00:25:48.47
Todd Jason
She's like, why would I do that? Over money.
00:25:51.10
Gareth Pickering
Wow.
00:25:52.20
Todd Jason
you know, or, you know, just so so much, like, oh my god, why did I waste my time worrying about XYZ?
00:25:52.28
Gareth Pickering
Wow.
00:26:00.75
Todd Jason
You know, now that I'm at the end, like, why would I waste so much time like over and over again, you know, I would hear this.
00:26:03.76
Gareth Pickering
Mm-hmm.
00:26:07.98
Todd Jason
And it just it really made me think, like okay, like i in a sense, I don't want to be that way. you know and then And then you would come across one in 10 who would just be like, man, I lived a great life. like I did everything that I wanted to. I really tried. like I gave a lot of love. I did XYZ. I had family. i you know I gave them my best. you know And and like you know I feel really satisfied. like One out of 10, I would say, were like that. and And I was moved by them, you know, because there was such a sense of peace around.
00:26:37.19
Todd Jason
And I think that's what Andrew, while I was talking about is, you know, like being one of those people, you know, where you feel that your full expression was given back while we have this life.
00:26:42.08
Gareth Pickering
Uh-huh.
00:26:47.38
Todd Jason
And why the fuck not?
00:26:47.45
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:26:48.18
Todd Jason
Sorry to curse if we can't curse on this, but like why the F not?
00:26:50.01
Gareth Pickering
You can kiss, bro.
00:26:51.49
Todd Jason
Okay.
00:26:51.46
Gareth Pickering
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:52.25
Todd Jason
It's like you're, it's a blip in the matrix, this thing, man. We're here and we're gone and we take it really seriously. And so I think, I think that's what I'm here to help people do is to get that level. of awareness of the finiteness of this life so that way they can be free to go for it each and every day and it's not easy to do by the way you know we really get trapped we are our own worst enemy a lot of times Gareth you know and so so there's a process to doing that but you got to start with that awareness at the end and that's what starts to give you clarity
00:27:14.00
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:27:21.53
Todd Jason
Right? is Is even asking that question is so very powerful. It's what I call creating the magnetic North Pole. And and we, but i sorry, magnetic North Star is what I usually call it.
00:27:31.78
Todd Jason
But, but yeah, we can talk about that.
00:27:32.52
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:27:33.02
Todd Jason
but But that's, that's kind of what Andrew Wile was talking about.
00:27:36.53
Gareth Pickering
m Beautiful, man. There's something that came up for me. I sat with Ayahuasca for the first time a couple of months ago. And it was a it was more a personal journey than a big transpersonal adventure.
00:27:42.56
Todd Jason
Hmm.
00:27:48.51
Gareth Pickering
And um she was really gentle with me. And one of the things that I realized is I was feeling uncomfortable. And I started to get this place where I was like, ah, I can feel a purge coming. And as I purged something, I had this recognition that There's parts of my life where I'm not going after fully what I want. Like there's some part of me that's waiting and it's also linked to a part of me that's waiting for permission. And I think it comes from an imprint when I was young.
00:28:13.97
Gareth Pickering
When I would ask my mom, can I go ride my bike? Can I grab this out of the cupboard or something like that? But I had this expression of like, fuck. And I saw this timeline heading out in front of me where if, if I didn't, if I continue to not go after what I wanted, my soul would be, wouldn't be fully expressed.
00:28:28.07
Todd Jason
Mm hmm.
00:28:29.01
Gareth Pickering
Like it came out to just be completely out there, go after everything that I wanted. And it was like, I feel like I do that in a lot of places, but there was this real moment of like, no, no, this is it. There's no practice right here.
00:28:40.00
Gareth Pickering
every time you feel something and don't go after it, it just builds like a little knot or a little bit of resentment. And I want to make sure that I'm free of that. And it yeah, I really resonated with with what you're sharing there in this, ah this Andrew, Andrew Wilde.
00:28:51.25
Todd Jason
Well, we got lucky because when I first met Ayahuasca, I went down to Peru in the jungle in 2010. And I did not have such an entry journey. She gave me a licking, which which I needed.
00:28:59.66
Gareth Pickering
Uh-huh.
00:29:00.36
Todd Jason
you know um But this is so important. right like And you are doing it. You're here doing your podcast. like You're here to share. You're interviewing people. like This just feels like, to me, someone who's on purpose and out there spreading a message that you really care about and coaching men you know in your community.
00:29:16.22
Todd Jason
right and
00:29:16.78
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
00:29:17.97
Todd Jason
what you find is that you catch these threads and then you start to see like, wow, I'm not always fully expressed or there's certain domains in my life where I'm not, right?
00:29:25.04
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:29:27.03
Todd Jason
and Or how could I just be doing better and better, you know?
00:29:27.56
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
00:29:31.39
Todd Jason
And and and this is great because you want to Everyone's at a different place in their journey, but you want to be able to understand where you're at with what we're talking about. Like, how clear are you about what you want? You know, in what areas are you blocked? How can you be doing better? What's nice about this is once you start getting the thread and you start to really express yourself and you start getting little mini wins along the way and confirmations and affirmations that you're on the right path,
00:29:56.16
Todd Jason
you do start to open up more and more. I mean, we're talking about just saying yes to a life of growth and, ah you know, like, of questioning who I really am. and and And then you start to go on the path.
00:30:05.72
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:30:07.47
Todd Jason
But let me tell you, every day is an opportunity to open and expand more and more into that version of you that is the purest, you know, most fully expressed.
00:30:18.68
Todd Jason
You know, I kind of have this vision, I said it before, but I call it this um ah this magnetic nor a star. And so in my practice, I have this very particular technique where I have people write their own eulogy. right So I have them very specifically.
00:30:34.76
Todd Jason
imagine that their life has been fully lived. It's 40, 50 years from now, whatever. you know Have them just do this like you know imaginative practice. And they're looking back on it, and they've lived their life to the full level of success, of joy, of service, whatever it is for that individual. It's an opportunity to be fully freaking free, you know using your mind and your imagination just to say, all right, like it all worked out.
00:31:00.33
Todd Jason
like everything worked out beyond my dreams and now you're writing about it as if it already happened, okay? The interesting thing about that practice is that most people don't
00:31:07.47
Gareth Pickering
Yes.
00:31:10.62
Todd Jason
they have no idea, you know, like, yeah like, they don't know, like, ah I don't know, like, I'm giving you freedom.
00:31:15.17
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:31:16.60
Todd Jason
It's a freedom of practice. I'm giving you full freedom just to imagine this thing plays out like to be to your your wildest dreams. Like, what actually happens? Like, what is your life? Like, well, I don't know, you know, and and I've had hundreds of people do this.
00:31:29.42
Todd Jason
And I've listened to the, you know, people will share it on my calls. And it could be actually kind of funny, you know, like, people are like, Oh, well, you know, I, work my way up i retired as the senior vice president you know of of data processing and then my wife and i moved down to florida and you know we kind of got our little beach house and you know at 79 years old i got a about a cancer and i mean it's like i heard stuff like that you know it's like no like let's go bigger you know like what actually can happen and i think when you do that it creates this
00:31:51.13
Gareth Pickering
Uh huh. Yes.
00:32:00.26
Todd Jason
magnetic north star where you actually start to feel the version of you that can have at least some of those things, if not all of it, And that's a really important thing to be able to do. This is a technique you know to be able to really like like imagine what this life could be, your version, your work, your relationships, your health, your adventures, all that, put out there you know just for fun. And then you start to kind of sense into the version of you
00:32:30.98
Todd Jason
that creates these things, okay? and And that's at the core of my work, you know, which is giving people these tools and abilities to feel what that is like and then to start to make it happen. And it's unbelievable, you know, because it really is some some magic that happens along the way. And it is, I call it magnetic because once you do that, it becomes magnetic. It becomes alive.
00:32:54.33
Todd Jason
The vision is alive.
00:32:54.44
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:32:55.47
Todd Jason
You actually done some work in your mind and in your heart to imagine what that is. And then like things start to happen. like And it happens beyond the cognitive analytical level. It happens at a subconscious, even unconscious level.
00:33:08.71
Todd Jason
You're playing with forces that are much stronger than you realize. you know like You're playing with God within yourself and you're actually starting to really manifest and create circumstances and people and situations because you've done the work to get clear about what it is that you really want.
00:33:25.46
Todd Jason
And there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's to me, it's the only game in town. like Let's go.
00:33:29.00
Gareth Pickering
You got to do it. Exactly.
00:33:30.90
Todd Jason
I'm freaking go, like why are people not doing this? yeah yeah I'm like, exactly.
00:33:33.40
Gareth Pickering
We wouldn't build a house without a plan. Yeah.
00:33:37.22
Todd Jason
you know That's my point. you know like We are really good planners.
00:33:38.85
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:33:40.07
Todd Jason
like look at the Look at the room that you're in right now if you're listening to this. Everything in your room, look around, like your computer or your phone, this is all so well planned out to create something. But we're not doing that with our own lives.
00:33:49.27
Gareth Pickering
Right. That's so crazy, dude.
00:33:52.63
Todd Jason
It's crazy.
00:33:53.96
Gareth Pickering
Bro, we've got so many overlaps. I'm really glad we're having this conversation because ah yeah, man.
00:33:56.69
Todd Jason
Yeah.
00:33:58.75
Gareth Pickering
ah Two pieces that I want to add to what you do there, like the eulogy piece, I also have my clients actually choose the date that they're going to die, like actually put it in the calendar. Like if you want to live to 90, what fucking date is that? Have you got any idea? So that when 24 becomes 25 becomes 26, there's like that sense of like,
00:34:16.40
Gareth Pickering
awareness that time's passing by and so I think that's that's such an important piece to be able to have that what you call magnetic north star and then practically the other piece that I use is that same version like I use a bit of like inner archetype type work like inner parts work or family system something like that but I create the the 85 version of my 85 year old version of myself that I ask for counsel when I feel stuck in a decision that I have in the present moment now because I can have a close circle of even my men's circle or people that I love and trust around me and I can lure you into my sense of how well it's going and some story about that but I can't.
00:34:38.31
Todd Jason
Yep. 100%.
00:34:53.71
Gareth Pickering
bullshit myself 85 years from now about because deep down I think we all know what we need to do you know like you know what your body needs if you pay attention enough and listen I can sit with you and bring my challenges but in me sharing my my story with you I enroll you into my sense of reality and you'll give me the best advice you can but I can't bullshit 85 year old version of myself who has written this plan backwards like you said it's like okay you want to live this amazing life that looks like da da da da then get up and do the push-ups bro don't pretend
00:35:21.59
Todd Jason
So let me let me tell you this, I love this, okay? So this is like so very similar, right? So the way I look at it is, when I have people do this,
00:35:26.42
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:35:29.78
Todd Jason
Okay, and I have them get really clear, you know? And by the way, some people, it's like easy, you know? Some people are like, just like write their eulogy and it's like, they come back the next day, like, oh my God, like, like mind blowing. Most people, it's a little bit of a practice.
00:35:40.86
Todd Jason
And by the way, like, I have a very specific way to do the eulogy. It's like very precise, you know, cause I've done this for like 10 years, you know? So I have a very specific toolkit of how to write the eulogy that really works, you know, to get you there faster.
00:35:51.39
Gareth Pickering
Okay.
00:35:55.09
Todd Jason
um But what what I found,
00:35:54.97
Gareth Pickering
Okay.
00:35:57.69
Todd Jason
I come back in and then I say to people, all right, here's the truth. The version of you that creates that life, ah there's a version of you starting right in this moment, feel your body. There's a version of you that creates that that life or those circumstances. And that version is most likely different in some very key ways than you are right now. Meaning that there's a delta.
00:36:23.27
Todd Jason
between your current trajectory, which is going over here, and the trajectory of the version of you that creates that life over here. And that's a good thing, meaning that that's your mechanism for change, where you can now shift your trajectory over to the line, what I call the golden path,
00:36:31.66
Gareth Pickering
ah
00:36:44.40
Todd Jason
of the version of you that leads this life that really represents your best self, okay? And so what you wanna start doing, once you do that, one it's very important to start with the end. You gotta have the vision and you gotta have an emotional connection with that vision.
00:36:59.27
Todd Jason
You gotta feel it. You gotta want it. There's gotta be desire. Like, yeah, I want that. That's another thing that's hard for most people. It's like, well, I kinda write it out, but I don't feel it.
00:37:05.77
Gareth Pickering
We don't know what he wants.
00:37:07.84
Todd Jason
Fine, that's okay.
00:37:08.12
Gareth Pickering
Oh, yeah.
00:37:09.16
Todd Jason
That's actually totally okay. But we can learn to feel it. you know like You want that vision. like you know You have to want it. You have to desire it. like If you don't, it's not going to happen. And that's the problem. We've gotten so beaten down by society and culture. like we even know what the hell We get up every morning and we're just like going through like some very, very mediocre day all the time. Our minds are not on fire. They're not clear. But we have to start with something that we want.
00:37:36.38
Todd Jason
And then what we can start doing is saying, all right, who is that version and what difference is he or she compared with me right now? What qualities does that person?
00:37:47.49
Todd Jason
And I'm going to give you an example for myself. Okay. And then you can, we can go with it.
00:37:50.10
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:37:51.44
Todd Jason
So when I first did this, I realized that the version of me that created that type of life was really persistent and consistent with um the things that I needed to do, particularly around business building.
00:38:08.81
Todd Jason
So at the time when I first did this, like I would have like these rollercoaster rides of success.
00:38:09.17
Gareth Pickering
Okay.
00:38:13.84
Todd Jason
And it was frustrating because I would like, you know, do this and I'd fall back down and have to build it back up. And I was like, that version of me is consistent, doesn't really fall down, you know, like, like kind of like, like stays on the path and learns sir how to do certain things that I'm not doing right now.
00:38:22.72
Gareth Pickering
Mmm.
00:38:31.67
Todd Jason
I saw it clearly. I had a coach that that but was like saying, yeah like yeah, that version of you is actually really, that that version takes courses. That that version of you is a student. That version of you isn't just teaching, but it's also learning you know like like specifically. And I was like, oh my God, you're absolutely right. And so I started to change my way. gareth I was like, oh, like I need to be a student. I need to buy courses. I need to like learn from teachers you know certain things that I wasn't learning.
00:38:59.02
Todd Jason
and And that changed everything for me because I was like, oh, that's who that version is. That's that's that version of Todd that does that. And that's when I started to get the outcomes that were related to that line, you know, in front of me. And so it really is a thing like you start to change yourself, you know, to be in alignment with that version and what most people aren't doing. Like people talk about getting alignment. Alignment to what? If you don't know where you want to go, what are you getting alignment to?
00:39:27.98
Todd Jason
right There's got to be something that is out there that you want to get alignment towards that is worth fighting for.
00:39:34.11
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:39:34.32
Todd Jason
In my groups, I tell people, like like what are you getting up every day to fight for? like like like What is worth it for you in the short life that you have? And so that's what this process does.
00:39:44.27
Gareth Pickering
Oh, I love it, dude. It's, uh, it's making me think of the, that sort of semi crusty old, uh, B do you have analogy in personal development, which is like, in order to have the thing that you want,
00:39:56.44
Gareth Pickering
There's certain actions, but those actions are always derived from the B, like who is it that gets the results consistently in my business?
00:40:01.08
Todd Jason
Right.
00:40:03.48
Gareth Pickering
That that what you're talking to is basically anchoring in those qualities. That was really beautiful, Britta.
00:40:07.30
Todd Jason
Absolutely.
00:40:07.71
Gareth Pickering
I needed to hear that because not so much the studying, but the recognition of the the missing qualities that don't exist in me now versus my planned future.
00:40:18.42
Gareth Pickering
That is the anchoring in of the identity, the piece that you're speaking to. So good.
00:40:22.21
Todd Jason
I have people write out two qualities. What two qualities does that version of you have really strongly that you don't have right now? So I gave you mine, right?
00:40:32.00
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
00:40:32.92
Todd Jason
like there was I forgot what they were, but but definitely persistence.
00:40:35.58
Gareth Pickering
Consistent consistency here.
00:40:36.84
Todd Jason
like, and consistency, you know, and like learning. There's something, I mean, when I did this first 10 years ago, there was like, I saw, like, oh my God, like, and and I saw, it solved my problem. I was like, oh, that's the problem. I'm not learning. I'm not i'm not like humbly putting myself on the path. um I was being egotistical, like, oh, I'm just gonna have all the success all the time. And it wasn't happening. And so I learned like, oh, like the version of me that does that, like move slower,
00:41:03.92
Todd Jason
It's like every day gets up and like does certain things. like It was just a different version of me, basically. It's like a different version of Todd that started to come online. And it was exciting for me because I was like, oh, because that version of me is one that achieves and experiences all these things that I really want. you know it's It's really interesting how much more power we have to manifest the lives of our dreams that we we just forget about the power that we have to do this.
00:41:31.91
Todd Jason
you know we have
00:41:32.09
Gareth Pickering
What have you noticed since you since you identified those things? what's What's shifted in your world?
00:41:36.28
Todd Jason
Everything. So when I first when i first did this, um number one, the first is here's here's the interesting thing is that you think it's about work and making money and all that.
00:41:37.45
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:41:46.46
Todd Jason
Actually, when I started to do this, I realized, man, I want to be, I want a family.
00:41:51.45
Gareth Pickering
Uh-huh.
00:41:52.19
Todd Jason
I'm a family guy. I was like, oh my Oh my God, like, you know, I want to, I want to have a wife, you know, I want to get married. You know, like it was, it was unbelievable.
00:41:59.46
Gareth Pickering
ah hu
00:42:01.43
Todd Jason
Like I hadn't really fully realized that. And then I ended up doing this really deep dive um course called the Hoffman process, ah which is like a seven day crazy retreat.
00:42:03.83
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:42:11.16
Todd Jason
I did Hoffman and um I came out of that and two months later I met my wife, you know, and And then, you know, we had a kid, you know, and, you know, and then a bunch of things happened. So here's what's interesting about this is that you may have this idea about, okay, like this thing that you want, and it's like around your work or your money or whatever it might be. But but what also happens, this is the magic of it, is that it uncovers other domains in your life that are actually You know, you also don't have clarity. And so for me, like my family, creating my family and getting that thing in my life so solid has then contributed to deeper clarity in the other areas of my life that, you know, were more obvious that I needed help in or I wanted more in.
00:42:59.75
Todd Jason
So that's what's so great about the practice of clarity is that we're playing with forces that are beyond the analytical cognitive mind.
00:43:00.30
Gareth Pickering
Hmm.
00:43:06.39
Todd Jason
We're going deeper into the psyche when you're asking yourself these questions. And so so I got clarity around, oh, what I really wanted you know with my partnership, like with my lifestyle.
00:43:18.46
Todd Jason
And this has brought me so much joy. you know ah more joy than I ever would imagine. you know I mean, I look at videos of myself now and I'm 51 compared to when I was 41, 10 years ago, and then I feel the same age or even younger sometimes. you know because I just feel like this level of vibrancy and I think that comes from being connected to my purpose.
00:43:39.43
Gareth Pickering
Okay,
00:43:42.29
Gareth Pickering
okay so let's do this, bro.
00:43:43.80
Todd Jason
yeah
00:43:44.06
Gareth Pickering
I want you to define clarity for for our audience as you see it, and maybe why this has become such an important theme in your work and share with the audience if you're open to the book that you're writing and how these tie together.
00:43:56.70
Todd Jason
Yeah, it's interesting because I've been, you know, you know, I've come into this whole world of like personal growth and development, really much more from like the perspective of spirituality, like, you know, I was in 911, you know, in New York City, ah you know, back in 2001, running away from the falling buildings, this is what started me on the path of kind of, who am I, you know, like, why am I here? And so I was running away from those buildings. And um And I changed my career pretty quickly. And this is when I started working with like really well-known spiritual teachers. I work with Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. And then I started working with Tony Robbins. And I've been on this path of personal growth and development, not only for myself, but also professionally for a long period of time. And, you know, I've been
00:44:41.30
Todd Jason
I've tried everything, you know, I mean, and not everything, but I've tried a lot of stuff, you know, i'm I'm a real experimenter. I mean, I probably spent, who knows how much money, hundreds of thousands of dollars are on my own growth and development over the years, right? I mean, this is, this is what I do. You know, I i want to understand who I am and I want to share what I'm learning along the way to others that the message resonates. What I've come to over the last year is this notion of clarity. You know, and clarity is a quality.
00:45:08.22
Todd Jason
When I talk about the eulogy practice, which is a a practice for getting clarity, what I found is that without asking yourself that bigger question, we're lost, at least I've been lost and people around my world been lost in a series of day-to-day decisions that are just kind of like up and down, like the mediocre ride, the land of mediocrity, where I'm just, I'm trying to make my way every day, but clarity is the connection with the bigger vision.
00:45:31.16
Gareth Pickering
Yep.
00:45:38.10
Todd Jason
the bigger vision for you. And interestingly, Gareth, it's become my spiritual practice, right? So even when I go into deep states of meditation. It's accentuated my meditation practice because this is gonna be really deep, but what I found is that one of the practices of meditation is just letting go of all the narrative, letting go of all the story, letting go of what needs to happen you now in the future.
00:46:01.19
Todd Jason
I mean, you know's in that sense, it's all like whatever. you know like Let's put clarity aside, but it's like just being here now, you know Ram Dass, be here now, and just allow the unfolding of the universe to happen through you without any narrative, but
00:46:10.70
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:46:18.29
Todd Jason
I've also found this incredible value of having done this work to get really clear about this vision of myself that has created this subconscious or even unconscious line of existence that when I go into a deep state of meditation, it feels to be pulling me towards this expression of myself in this lifetime.
00:46:40.07
Todd Jason
And this has been really nourishing for me, right? I feel that it so it's given me an accelerator for my own spiritual practice, right? That I'm working towards something, like I'm working with God, I'm working with nature, I'm working with myself, I'm working with my gods and my angels to an expression of myself in this lifetime that is really pure and authentic.
00:47:01.78
Todd Jason
until it isn't any longer, right? Until I do pass and I'm no longer here, fine, you know, and then who knows what happens to that? I don't know, you know, we could talk that with a blue in their face. So it's been this very foundational piece in my own consciousness, getting clarity, asking myself. I mean, Jesus in the Bible, you know, poses one question, you know, who am I? Who am I?
00:47:23.12
Todd Jason
you know That's what he tells people to do, like ask yourself, who am I? you know And that's what this is, is asking yourself the question, it does something deep down in the psyche. you know So that's why I'm making clarity in this book, you know my main thing right now, because I found it to be the most foundational question that we can be asking ourselves. And you know I look at clarity as a thing, like a quality.
00:47:48.56
Todd Jason
You know, it's it's a quality of like, well, like, do I have clarity? Like, what is it? Who am I? And so the book is going to be, you know, an expression of the process, some of which we talked about today, and just how deep down the rabbit hole this goes. And my my vision is that the book gives people, everyone that reads it, an opportunity to get that clarity so that they can really get up every fricking morning feeling on fire and excited about their lives. Because that's what this is about. Like I said, it's a blip of the matrix. I think we're just getting up, like just dull down, beaten down, like in fear, in doubt, in limitation, like so much of the time that I want this to be an inspirational lightning rod for people to be like, yes, like I can do this, like, and I have a pathway now that can help me do this.
00:48:34.01
Todd Jason
And so that's what the book is about. that's what my I have a course as well, a two-day course called The Clarity Course, where I teach the eulogy practice like in in the technology that I talked about, but even deeper.
00:48:45.11
Todd Jason
And like I want people to take that course. ah It's online. It's an evergreen course that they can take. um and And literally just like get that clarity, you know and then see what happens.
00:48:50.96
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:48:55.50
Todd Jason
Because I've seen it. You know some of the people in my community, Garrett, it's like, they're on fire. Because like once you start doing that, Like the world opens up and you get lit up again, and that's what my goal is to have people lit up
00:49:08.11
Gareth Pickering
But it's such important work. And I just want to say thank you for doing it because yeah, man, I've a few years ago I heard this quote that says clarity is kindness like the sense of the more clear I can be with my words both to myself but also to the people that I'm connecting with the kinder I am to them and I noticed a part of me in my experience where I have this imprint of being like a people pleaser. And there was a part of me that sometimes when I thought like, okay, Todd and I are supposed to be meeting for a run tomorrow, but I don't feel like going. So I want to say that there's something that's not alive there, because I don't want to hurt your feelings or something like that. There's a part of me that thought that I had kindness as a core value, but in not being clear with you, I was actually not being kind to you. And I felt i saw this in my intimate relationships as well.
00:49:53.54
Gareth Pickering
where I was like, ah, I want to end it with this woman, but I think she might be upset because I have a sense she wants more than I'm ready to give. So I sort of ghost a little bit or energetically withdraw rather than be clear and say, thank you, this has been amazing. And I'm moving on to something else, or this is not for me. But I realized all those times that I thought I was being kind, but not being clear is bullshit. It's complete bullshit. And in the internal work, it's the same thing that those warring decisions of minutia and like mediocrity that keep us in this holding pattern of average is because we haven't been clear about what it is that we want in our lives. And it's actually not kind because you feel like you're just living a fucking dull life and you're just watching the time go by. And it's like the kindness that you have to yourself, you owe it to yourself to be clear. So thank you so much, dude, for bringing this. It's such an important piece.
00:50:45.14
Todd Jason
Yeah, brother. And by the way, the we didn't talk about it so much, mean maybe another conversation, but on the relational piece, you know, clarity amplifies healthy boundaries. And This is why so many relationships are in conflict because we are not really clear with ourselves, first and foremost, and then with others.
00:51:07.61
Todd Jason
But when we do that, it feels edgy because then we're going to disappoint. We're going to get angry. It actually isn't. It's the greatest gift that you can give anyone in your life is to be really clear about who you are.
00:51:16.73
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:51:20.62
Todd Jason
Right. And not in a way to beat them down. Like it's once you do this work, you start to see that this is what happens. When you start getting clear, you want everyone else to be clear.
00:51:31.66
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:51:31.82
Todd Jason
You want your wife, you want your kids, you want your the people that you're dating. like you you want You ask them, you're like what do you want? No great that is when someone asks you that. No much empathy comes in this authentic looking at another human being like, what is't that you what will make you happy without any of your own ideas?
00:51:48.75
Todd Jason
like I want to help you like find out like what you want. What is it that you want? What lights you up? i my I'm with my wife for 12 years. I ask her this all the time. you know like She doesn't always have a clear answer. That's fine.
00:51:59.84
Todd Jason
But I'm asking her the question because I care. that That's beautiful.
00:52:02.14
Gareth Pickering
Mm.
00:52:03.73
Todd Jason
And then if you can help others get that, that's authentic relating right there. is like Help them get clarity. you know And then share with them what your clarity is, and that will inspire them.
00:52:16.59
Todd Jason
It doesn't create division. It creates connection. And so it's a whole other topic, but like that's what I found is that the clarity piece is ubiquitous. i mean like once that it It is the thing that literally unravels so much, you know but most people just don't do it, which is why I'm writing the book.
00:52:34.36
Gareth Pickering
When's the book coming out, brother?
00:52:36.22
Todd Jason
Well, that's an interesting thing, my man. you know ah you know i'm I'm writing it right now. And um I think I want to launch this fast. I mean, I'm i'm a lightning bolt. So like you know once I got the the the the idea to write the book, it's coming out really fast, I'm going to self-publish it. you know Even though I have connections in the publishing world, I think I'm going to self-publish. I'm going to try to get it out by you know May 1, 2025. I'm going to try to get it out pretty fast.
00:53:02.10
Todd Jason
and you have it upselling on Amazon or Barnes and Noble online, you know, within the next couple of months.
00:53:02.16
Gareth Pickering
Wow.
00:53:06.22
Todd Jason
And I'm excited because that is, I want to be an author. I've never been an author. And like, that's my clarity. Like when I do my thing, I'm like, why am I not an author? Why have I not written a book? All these other people have books.
00:53:16.11
Gareth Pickering
So good.
00:53:16.86
Todd Jason
Why can't I? There's no reason.
00:53:20.64
Todd Jason
There's no reason. but Here we go.
00:53:23.88
Gareth Pickering
Talk to me about ah clarity and community building. We have a like a parallel journey in ah in building community and yeah maybe talk to me about that adventure what's been some of the yeah well how's it going yeah well how does clarity
00:53:30.50
Todd Jason
Yeah, oh yeah.
00:53:34.65
Todd Jason
I love it.
00:53:38.60
Todd Jason
This is so big, you know, I think, you know, I mean, there's there's a couple of things that amplify clarity. um The practice I talk about about the eulogy writing and all that, you know, it's a very individual practice, you know, which is great.
00:53:51.62
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:53:51.90
Todd Jason
You know, you want to be asking yourselves that question, but, and this is the thing that I have been blown away by because I started a new community about five months ago that I had everybody in my community come through my course where they write their eulogy.
00:53:57.19
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:54:05.67
Todd Jason
Okay. So like they come through this course, the clarity course, they come through it.
00:54:06.79
Gareth Pickering
Okay.
00:54:10.07
Todd Jason
And then they come into this community where we're we're now going to, um, do the work of consistency and can ah persistently building towards our bigger dreams together you know and work and life, whatever. What I found is that when people come together doing that work and they have that shared artifact,
00:54:31.98
Todd Jason
of writing their eulogy and they have that shared instruction that I've given them to do this. It creates such a field of resonance and support and coherence in the community.
00:54:45.48
Todd Jason
that people really want to help each other. And it's like this instant depth of conversation, this instant depth of like, oh, you're just like me. Like, you you don't really know. or And you're trying to figure it out. And you kind of, you you ask yourselves a bigger question. And then you share from that perspective. And it creates this beautiful container. And, you know, in my opinion, community is Like the amplifier for manifestation.
00:55:12.46
Todd Jason
We're living in a world and right now you and I are not hugging it out. You're on, you're in Costa Rica, right? You know, I'm, I, oh no, you're in Guatemala. I'm sorry.
00:55:19.09
Gareth Pickering
gumala Yeah. yeah
00:55:19.89
Todd Jason
You're in Guatemala. I'm in California. Like we're having this deep connection and it's great, but we are separated much more than we have been.
00:55:26.51
Gareth Pickering
yeah
00:55:27.50
Todd Jason
And you you know, we are living in a society, in a culture where we are all lone wolves. It's really hard to create these deep, authentic connections. The process of getting clarity and doing it in community crosses the bound where you then find this really deep sense of community together. And it is in the community that amplifies your ability to achieve things that are beyond your greatest dreams. Like doing that work, getting the clarity, and then finding a community where you can then bounce ideas off of and then help others achieve theirs.
00:56:01.05
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:56:01.67
Todd Jason
It's the amplifier. and And that second piece is important, Gareth.
00:56:03.28
Gareth Pickering
Wow.
00:56:04.98
Todd Jason
It's not just about, okay, well, I wanna create, I wanna be an author, you know, like I just said about me. I wanna write a book.
00:56:09.51
Gareth Pickering
Right.
00:56:11.05
Todd Jason
It's also about like looking at the other people and saying, well, how can I help you start to achieve some of your dreams? like So for example, we have somebody in my community who's a Silicon Valley designer, you know, and, you know, really what like high level designer in Silicon Valley, but, you know, his job is getting like replaced by technology and AI. And so what he wants to do is he wants to have his own teaching around AI and all this design stuff that he knows how to do. And it became really clear to him that he wanted to be an entrepreneur and build that.
00:56:43.80
Todd Jason
And so now that he did this work and he's in this community, everyone everyone's like just supporting him. He's like, yeah, like you have this. you You got this. And now he's got a place where he can launch his thing and test it out.
00:56:51.20
Gareth Pickering
yes
00:56:54.90
Todd Jason
you know And like you need to have supporters. You need to have people around you that are wanting you to succeed, where you can then also help others succeed.
00:57:06.49
Todd Jason
you know and And that, to me, is the key to real achievement and real manifestation. Right? Because all all the stuff we talked about before is like our individual personal work, which is really important.
00:57:15.21
Gareth Pickering
Yes. Yep, yep, yep.
00:57:17.47
Todd Jason
But now you take it. You take your artifact. and now you bring it into a community and you have that mindset and you have that excitement and boom, this is the accelerator.
00:57:28.16
Todd Jason
okay This is where your purpose gets accelerated. and This is where you really come online. So so that's the second piece. you know It's gotta be done in the community. You do not do this alone. I mean, it's the one thing that I share, and I know I'm speaking to the choir here, because you're a community builder, but you do not do this alone.
00:57:41.48
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:57:44.27
Todd Jason
You find a community or communities, be a part of several. where you can be authentic, where you can be vulnerable and where you can give back. And that last piece is so important. Don't just have it be a place where you need to receive and get, give back, give back to a community, like give your talents and gifts, you know, to other people that also need it. And that's where you create this like incredible field of resonance and you skyrocket.
00:58:12.03
Gareth Pickering
So good, man. So good. There's something in the community piece, which for me comes up around the the opportunity to be mirrored back the shadows or the parts of ourselves that we can't see, you know, you go on the lone wolf journey, and you try to build your, ah your design company based on the knowledge that you have, but you don't know what you don't know. And you also don't know that your own shadow and how that you know, those limiting beliefs could stop you. But when you're in that space, like you're holding, where people are like, Yeah, bro, you've got this. And are you seeing this? Are you keeping an eye on this? Like, I can see this in you. And that space has been so powerful in our community because and it's also of the reason why I'm in there because I know I have got bullshit stories that that loop sometimes I fall back into similar holes I've got core wounds and to be surrounded by people that I love and trust to be like hey can you see this and to put yourself in there to be open to receive that reflection that is the the gas that goes onto the spark of what it is that you want to create
00:59:02.63
Todd Jason
I love it. Yeah. You're doing such great work, man. I mean, thank you for doing what you're doing because it is, you know, you're doing, you're holding it the right way. You know, like people are like, Oh, like, are you the guru in your community? I'm like, hell no. Like I am not on some mountain top. I am very much in process.
00:59:16.86
Todd Jason
you know And I'm sharing what I know, but I'm also learning from y'all. And I think that that is the the right way to to lead a community, to guide one, is to like understand that we're all you know like being processed here.
00:59:21.60
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:59:32.63
Todd Jason
you know Look, when you lead a community, I'm sure you're experiencing this, it's a real accelerator, right? Because now you're, I mean, you're you're the one that's grown the most.
00:59:38.87
Gareth Pickering
For sure. Yeah.
00:59:42.42
Todd Jason
you know And if you're hearing this, I will say,
00:59:42.86
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
00:59:46.56
Todd Jason
Think about it, like, you know, leading your own, even if it's just a small group of friends where you get together and do an accountability check-in once a week, it doesn't have to be like a business. It could just be, I'm going to lead a group of people, you know, that like to have a conversation, to hold myself accountable. Like that that's a community. And if you lead that, you know, that is going to cause such an exponential rate of growth for you, you know, just the act of leading it.
01:00:14.32
Todd Jason
you know And taking the initiative to do that is so powerful, right? um And so yeah, like I empower people to do that. like Yeah, my community is amazing, but like even within in my community, I encourage people to find smaller groups of people.
01:00:28.55
Todd Jason
you know Find a group of three.
01:00:28.52
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm.
01:00:30.05
Todd Jason
Find a group of two. like Find your own partner in here where you can really bounce ideas off of. That community can mean a lot of things.
01:00:35.27
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:00:36.81
Todd Jason
right and So I have a container, and you have a container, but within that, there's all kinds of needed connections that can help us amplify our purpose.
01:00:36.75
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:00:45.88
Gareth Pickering
Dude, I've taken so many notes here. what's ah What's one thing you want to leave with this audience says ah yeah as a parting word? Someone might be listening to this on their on their adventure of finding out their clarity and and purpose.
01:01:00.06
Gareth Pickering
I know this is clear for you. We've touched a lot.
01:01:02.12
Todd Jason
Just like, be you know look, be optimistic, you know be hopeful.
01:01:02.38
Gareth Pickering
but
01:01:05.72
Todd Jason
you know like and any Anything that, and I deal with this too, you know any anything that feels like you're in despair, you know anything that feels like it's not gonna happen, fear, you know doubt, limitation.
01:01:23.19
Todd Jason
you know For me, it's it's um when I go to my deepest places of meditation, I come to the realization that everyone's dealing with this. Like everyone's dealing with it. Everyone's dealing with some version of the doubt or the fear or the limitation. and And you can go there and you can really feel that. And that develops a quality of empathy where you can then walk around your life and look at other people and be like, man, like everyone's struggling in their own way. you know I mean, I know I quote the Bible sometimes. I'm not very religious by the way, but like there's you know certain things that I'll i'll quote. And you know there's one golden rule in the Bible, one. but There's one thing in the Bible that's known as the golden rule.
01:02:02.94
Todd Jason
I find that interesting, and it's do unto others that you as you'd want to have done to yourself.
01:02:04.88
Gareth Pickering
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
01:02:07.50
Todd Jason
And the message is, and this is this is the same across many different wisdom traditions, is that treat everyone in the world as if they are an expression of you, because they are, right?
01:02:20.43
Todd Jason
love them, you know understand that they're not out to hurt you, that they're actually there to help you, and they're an expression of your own inner understanding of of life. They're your own perceptions. it's ah you're You're an extension of me, Gareth. I'm looking at you on my screen and my wife in the house over there, but you are being made up by my own perception and understanding. You are me. And when you can really understand that, you just start to to love them and appreciate them and want to help them because you're just loving yourself and wanting to help yourself.
01:02:50.76
Todd Jason
And this is the the big change on the inside. So be hopeful that you have the ability to do that, to toggle into that frequency of understanding in any moment. And that's the change.
01:03:01.79
Todd Jason
That's where the abundance comes in. That's where the flow comes in because you're all just helping yourself. So I would say at the end of the day, the one message that I have is really instill in yourself the belief that this world and this universe and this life is here to help you.
01:03:16.45
Todd Jason
It's not here to hurt you.
01:03:16.76
Gareth Pickering
Mm-hmm. Mm.
01:03:18.46
Todd Jason
You're here to win. You're not here to die. You're here to express, and you're here to have fun, and you're here to to be just joyful, and you're not here to be in pain and suffering, but really, really believe that in your core and tell yourself that every single day. And there's all these tools that you can do to do that, but like remember that every day. And then do the things that can expand that frequency of understanding every single day, like writing your eulogy, like finding community, other things we talked about.
01:03:47.89
Todd Jason
um And just go for it.
01:03:47.96
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:03:50.21
Todd Jason
Because this life is freaking short, brother. You know, it is short. And we have this opportunity to be alive and human once for what we know. So make make it count.
01:04:03.52
Gareth Pickering
Yes. Before I let you go, ah you mentioned something about a ah discount for your course. I don't know. We didn't speak about that offline. So I'm just going to put you on the spot. Yeah. I would love my audience or ever listening to the show to spend some time with you.
01:04:17.24
Gareth Pickering
your purpose course, what I'll put it up in the show notes, but maybe just speak into that a little bit and how people can connect with you.
01:04:22.96
Todd Jason
Yeah, so what I'm gonna do is, so the the clarity course is what I love people to take, okay? Like it's it is the eulogy practice that you learned about today, but just really supercharged.
01:04:34.23
Todd Jason
So it's a two-day online course that you could literally start right now.
01:04:34.67
Gareth Pickering
Cool.
01:04:37.86
Todd Jason
It's a $99 course that I'm gonna give everyone that listens to this a, you know, basically a 50% discount.
01:04:39.92
Gareth Pickering
Cool.
01:04:43.90
Todd Jason
So you can take it for $49, okay?
01:04:45.80
Gareth Pickering
Sweet.
01:04:46.50
Todd Jason
and the And the code will be, gareth dash twenty twenty five and we'll put that in the show notes, but gartt G-A-R-E-T-H dash 2025. And that will be a standing 50% discount off the Clarity course.
01:04:56.06
Gareth Pickering
Sweet.
01:05:00.39
Todd Jason
And you can go to my website, toddjason dot.com. and So just T-O-D-D-J-A-S-O-N dot.com. And from there, you can you know just visit the clarity course. it's you know You'll see it right there.
01:05:11.37
Todd Jason
It's on the front page. um And then when you go ahead and check out, put in GARRA-2025, and then you'll get a 50% discount um and take the course. I mean, i think everyone I think every single person needs to take this course.
01:05:21.60
Gareth Pickering
I'm gonna be a student there bro. I'll do that today.
01:05:24.65
Todd Jason
you know And I'm not just saying, except but it it is. it's It's a really, really good way to get that clarity, to get that vision. um And then from there, you're off and running. Okay. And then there's an invitation to join my community, which is all about purpose and clarity. And, you know, you'll see, but, but really the course is the most important thing. um You know, my, my vision is, is this year that millions of people take this course. I mean, we're getting disrupted, Gareth. Like people are up in the air right now. There's a lot of commotion out there in, in the external world.
01:05:54.46
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:05:54.89
Todd Jason
This is the work that's needed. like Take this time for yourself.
01:05:56.70
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:05:58.90
Todd Jason
Get that clarity so you can make really good decisions in the coming weeks, months, and years.
01:05:58.99
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:06:06.31
Gareth Pickering
That's a beautiful offer, brother. Thank you so much. I'm going to use that as well as soon as you've set up that discount code and and go through it. Like I've done a version of my eulogy, but I want to see your toolkits and see how you're doing it. And yeah, I also want to just give a shout out.
01:06:16.73
Todd Jason
Oh, yeah.
01:06:18.24
Gareth Pickering
We got connected through a brother who's in both of our communities, which I think points to what you said, you know, there's a. You can be in multiple communities. And I'm super, super grateful that we got connected through Brian, who's ah an amazing dude.
01:06:29.42
Gareth Pickering
He's doing good stuff in our community. And yeah, super rad.
01:06:31.48
Todd Jason
Oh, yeah, the brother. Yeah, Brian, big shout out, man.
01:06:33.73
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:06:35.62
Todd Jason
He's amazing. And Brian Trevor, he's he's something else, man. And i'm I'm grateful that he's connected us and more work between us because it's also like these communities and this work that we're doing, like, thank you for the invite, because we need to be doing this together.
01:06:48.82
Todd Jason
And I want to have you come on to my group as well and speak.
01:06:51.43
Gareth Pickering
Yeah. Cool.
01:06:53.20
Todd Jason
Because we need to be building together. I mean, that's what this is all about, right? So you've taken this beautiful first step by asking me to come in here and I'm going to reciprocate so we can form a deeper bond and then just grow more love and kindness together from the inside out.
01:06:57.31
Gareth Pickering
Yeah.
01:07:07.59
Todd Jason
So I'm glad that we're connected.
01:07:09.76
Gareth Pickering
Thank you, bro. I have this ah this analogy in my work, which is, yeah. The ability for us to really create global change is to link networks together. you know So the strength of my network when connected to yours and connected to other networks is what's gonna make the shift and it grows exponentially. So yeah, bro, thank you for for being a network builder and for for connecting with me in this this time and I appreciate you, brother.
01:07:31.65
Todd Jason
Now, I appreciate you, man. You're doing amazing work. And you know everyone should join up what you're doing you know and follow you because I think it's really beautiful stuff. So thank you, Gareth.
01:07:39.15
Gareth Pickering
that's a brother and then looking forward to meeting you in person at some point in the future so ah yeah man big love thanks again for your time bro ciao
01:07:42.97
Todd Jason
Thanks, Gareth. Big love, guys. Thanks for listening. ah joe
