00:00.87
Matt Dahse
What is up, y'all? Welcome to the Father's Sons Brothers podcast. This is the Weekly Post Game. My name's Matt Dazzi coming to you from Spain. I'm here, as always, with Gareth Pickering coming from Guatemala. And in today's episode, we are going to talk about how you can turn a gut punch into a proper ab workout. And what I mean by that is taking those blows that life gives you and turning it into personal development work.
00:24.62
Matt Dahse
ah Before we get into all that, I'd like to invite you to stay to the end because we're actually going to be going through a step-by-step guide on how you can do this in your own life. And so we're going to be diving into it. But before we do, Gareth, how about a quick check-in from both of us? What's going on in your world, my man?
00:41.68
fsb
Good to see you, brother. It's been a while since we did a postgame. And yeah, it feels good to be back on here with you and using this opportunity to postgame something that has been quite important in our business. And yeah, it feels like since that experience took place probably about a month and a half ago, it's been a time of initiation and transformation. It seems like for most of the people that I'm connected to definitely inside the father, son's brothers tribe in the previous King circle, we had Dudes are going through it, like relationship endings, health stuff, ending of jobs, business collapse stuff. Just people are fucking deeply in it at the moment. and so
01:23.04
fsb
I wasn't excused from that. I've been in my own um sea of transformation. My themes have been around relationship with my beloved as we come up to like almost six years of being together. And what's been a really smooth and easy run has been a little bit rocky over the last few weeks. And yeah, we've been navigating that. And so that's been a little bit tumultuous. And the the framework that we're gonna use to unpack today has really supported me. And I know you've also been in different levels of initiation, bro.
01:52.98
Matt Dahse
Bro, I found myself looking out over the Mediterranean Sea the other day at this beautiful sunset, just crying and being angry and emotional. And you know, it's everyone's going through it right now. And it's it's evident as everyone in our tribe is is sharing things in that. And one thing my wife pointed out to me that was super valuable is like,
02:16.76
Matt Dahse
if we are in contraction and like fighting what's going on, how that causes the suffering versus being in slow with it. And I think that's part of what we're going to be diving into today, right? Like when when life throws us these situations that are challenging, that hurt, ah you know there's there's a time to to feel that. And then there's a time to sort of like,
02:40.64
Matt Dahse
Find the flow within it and and realize that we're always on the right path. like Everything that's happening is happening for a reason and there's learnings to be taken from it. And bringing that attitude to the things that that happen to us in our world is its own shadow map, right? like if If we can pay attention to those contractions that we feel and those pains that happen,
03:01.20
Matt Dahse
by life to us, it gives us the perspective of what to look at on what it is we need to change in our life and what it is we need to pay attention to so that we can get the medicine we need to to step into a better version of ourselves.
03:15.86
fsb
So good, man. Yeah, there's definitely so much in this theme for me, because, you know, some of the things that I've been dancing with with my partner have been like, personal shadow reflection of myself and in her and how those have played together. And um a brother from the tribe said something to me, which has been such an anchor, which is Like what you said now, there are no mistakes. There's just laugh unfolding. And that's been really supportive for me because there's a part of me that looks at my choices and I'm like, ah, I could have done better here. I should have communicated more clearly here. I didn't speak my truth here. And it looks like inverted commas are mistake. And actually there's no mistakes. It's just what's unfolded. And as you said, how do we take our lessons from that and
03:57.21
fsb
Not not feel it because I love what you said there, which is you have to feel it You have to sit with the pain of like fuck This is not going the way that I thought that it would or you know This hasn't unfolded the way we would have hoped and there's some sadness in that But then if you hold on for it to too long, that's where you choose to suffer. And um what we're going to share today has to do with a recent launch that we did inside Father, Son's Brothers. And Matt, maybe you just want to give a high level overview of what the frame was and what we were trying to achieve with this launch and some of the data that got us to a place of feeling like we had been punched in the gut.
04:29.31
Matt Dahse
Well, those of you who follow the podcast and and follow our brand, you know that we do a monthly men's circle called The King's Circle that's on the last Sunday of every month. And it's been a a movement that we've been doing for a few years now. In fact, ah number 29 is coming up at the end of this month. And ah as we've been building momentum for each of these month over month, we decided to throw together an ad campaign. And with that campaign, we Got a bunch of enthusiasm, a bunch of yeses.
04:58.86
Matt Dahse
84 yeses, to be exact. And of those 84, how many showed up, Gareth?
05:06.17
Matt Dahse
Not one.
05:07.00
fsb
zero not not a single no and it was
05:07.45
Matt Dahse
Not a single one. And bro, that was a gut punch. you remember I mean, that was a few months ago, really. I mean, we're unpacking it now, but I mean, I can still feel the pain of that because of, you know, so when when Gareth and I do these men's circles, we get online and get into the Zoom room, you know, a half hour before and do our preparation and get everything set. And then as the minutes kick down to like the actual start time, ah we have a conversation like, bro, how many how many brothers are going to show up to this one? And we we both put our numbers out there.
05:40.13
Matt Dahse
And then when this one came to unfold, it was like, I don't remember how many we had. I want to say it was probably in the teens, but it definitely wasn't in the 84 range.
05:48.94
fsb
Yeah, so what actually happened is we have new men were coming to our circle month after month.
05:48.96
Matt Dahse
and and
05:53.56
fsb
These are brothers that see the benefit of showing up in a space to speak their truth authentically and receive reflection from other men in a sacred space. And so we had like 17 or 18 men that had been in our circle before, but of the 84 new men that we'd invested almost $2,500 in Facebook ads to get them there thinking, let's get some new men, some fresh blood in here.
06:15.77
fsb
Of those 84, nobody showed up. And so we had the circle and we were like, we were expecting, you know, wi as is the nature with these basic um online experiences, you never have 84 men registered and then 84 men show up. People register for free stuff all the time and don't show up. So we were expecting maybe like a 30 to 40% show up rate, but we're like, with our current 15 to 20 regulars that are showing up at the circle, we're hoping for another 20 or 30. So we should have a circle of 50.
06:44.15
fsb
And it was the same, it was the exact same as every month, except we burned through $2,500 and got 84 potentials that didn't show up to the circle. And yeah, we were just fucking gutted about it.
06:56.91
Matt Dahse
Bro, I was angry. I was pissed. I was proper pissed off. ah And you know what comes up for me right now is I'm thinking back of it. It's like the integrity of someone to say yes to something and not show up.
07:09.81
fsb
Mm-hmm.
07:10.01
Matt Dahse
you know like like Who would do that? like I find myself even still sort of pointing the finger out of the pain of like a rejection wound of like I'm throwing a party and 84 people said they would show up and not a single one did.
07:19.79
fsb
Yep.
07:24.58
Matt Dahse
um
07:24.61
fsb
yes
07:26.02
Matt Dahse
And yeah, like we talked about in the opening, that's that's sort of of of what to examine and look at there. How about for you? What did it come up for you?
07:33.09
fsb
Same thing. i had I had a similar piece, which was also going into, yeah, I think what's underneath this is what you said there is recognizing what our own individual wounds are. Mine is I definitely have a rejection wound and I have the wound of not being enough. Like society has told us collectively that we're not enough unless we have this car and this much money and live here and have a partner that looks like this. And you know, there's all those different things that we're continually programmed. So I definitely have this underlying core wound of not being enough. And so the same as Matt when when 84 men said they'd come but didn't. I also went into this place where I my my projection was something like
08:11.18
fsb
Yeah, men say they want to do the work, but they don't put the effort in or some story like that, some narrative around that. And then and then just caught myself and being like, fuck, this is this is not it. You know, and I have this personal mantra that I that I bring myself back to as often as I can. And maybe it didn't happen as quickly as I would have liked in this scenario, which is life is always showing up to support me always showing up to support me meaning when life's going well it's showing up to support me but when it feels like i've been punched in the gut and nobody came to our party even though 84 said they would life is still showing up to support me so what is that like how do you get to the to the gold of whatever it is in your experience that you're holding right now and that could look like an awful down of something that was once really stable a relationship or a job or it could look like
08:57.87
fsb
the promotion that was inevitable that didn't happen or it could look like 84 men saying they're going to come to you the king circle and not showing up but really recognizing in this moment as Matt said when you feel these feelings of anxiety not to ignore them because underneath that is some deep desire for us to be in service to continue to serve our mission and support more men with this powerful Work the men's work technology that has been so supportive for us and is woven into our King circle and the father-son's brothers tribe and the warrior walk and all these different creations but underneath that is a desire something that we wanted to have happen and so Noticing what that is is part of this process and so yeah I also went into my own story where I was looping and pissed off with the world and not taking responsibility I was in victim and
09:44.97
Matt Dahse
So what do we do about that? Like whether it's this situation or any other in life, like what what are the tools? Let's get into it. what What do we do when life throws us these things so that we can take the gold from it, stay in flow and move on to what comes next in our full power? What does that look like?
10:02.91
fsb
So let's share it with a practical example of how we actually troubleshot this. And if you are working through any sort of like gut punch in your world at the moment, you can use these same questions in the same process to support you. And so the first one is to get yourself out of your head and to just slow stuff down. And the way that this works is that we have this ability to be able to your mind and your thought stream can run very very quickly meaning you can think a hundred thoughts a minute and that doesn't always serve you when you're feeling like overwhelmed or you're feeling anxious or unsupported or triggered or any of those things and so to slow things down is really the way to start and what we did here was we
10:41.95
fsb
We took the opportunity to both journals, we took our journals out and we both said, right, what's the story we're telling ourselves here? And what happens in this process is you then have to write down what's happening in your head. So that automatically slows you down because you can't write as fast as you can think. So you start to slow down, you start to take words and put words to the story that's running in your head at 100 miles per hour, and you start to write down what the story is. So Matt, give an example of how you wrote this down.
11:07.95
Matt Dahse
Yeah, men don't want to do the work is the is the the crutch of it. But and when when you write the story down, what you end up happening what ends up happening is when it's running through your head at a million miles an hour, you can skip through a lot of logic. You can go through logic leaps that when you write it down, you kind of force yourself into to thinking about it rationally and really getting down to it to what it is. But the story I was telling myself is that, ah you know,
11:37.88
Matt Dahse
this integrity piece. These men are are out of integrity to say yes to something and not show up and and they don't want to do the work on themselves because, you know, here's this amazing opportunity to really step into a better version of ourselves and these, these brothers aren't doing it.
11:54.41
Matt Dahse
So that was the story I was telling myself.
11:54.77
fsb
Yeah. And mine was similar, as I explained, the same sort of thing around integrity. I was starting to write down things like this, this launch has been a failure, you know, writing down what I had been reflecting on in terms of how I thought this was unfolding. So if you're going through this, take five minutes, set a timer on your phone and write for five minutes what the story is. This is a disaster. I can't believe this has happened to me. Doesn't matter how it comes out, but just allow yourself to write and don't judge what's coming out. Just allow yourself to really journal what is really true for you, what feels true for you in this moment with regards to this experience. So that's going to do two things. It's going to slow things down, but it's also going to force you to put words down on paper that are actually running inside your head. And as Matt said, you're going to start to see some logic, which in the next few questions may or may not necessarily even be true or even add up. And so that's really the first step is to start telling the story by journaling it.
12:52.00
fsb
The second is asking yourself this question, is it true? So when you reflect it on this matter, is it true that this business, that this launch is a failure? Is it true that men don't want to do with the work? Is it true? Is it true? Is it true?
13:09.30
Matt Dahse
No, it's not true. I mean, it's not... a we i look I can look back now and say that this launch wasn't a failure, and I can look back now and and look at what's going on in our community that's active right now and say, yes, there are there are over a hundred men doing the work actively every day inside of Father, Son's Brothers, and they are showing up full power for themselves and each other. So men do want to do the work.
13:37.41
Matt Dahse
and Yeah, so my assumptions there aren't true. It just makes me feel better to point the finger at them. Right? I mean, that's that's what we're doing.
13:45.23
fsb
Yeah, and so the point the point of this question is, is it true? And the next question is, is it really true? So you've written down the story, then you start to test the assumptions or the story that you're telling yourself, but is this really true? And there is no real truth. All there is is data plus some story that we choose to tell about that experience. And when you look at it, there is actually no inherent truth in any of these things. It really is just what we choose to make or make a story of the data or the experience that's unfolding in our life at the moment. And so the answer to this question is almost always, it's never true. There's no true. True is like in this present moment what what is what you can feel in your body. But other than that, 84 men said, yes, nobody showed up.
14:30.56
fsb
Could that be the biggest possible gift? And that's actually the next question. So after you've asked yourself, is it true? And the next question, is it really true? you can start to so Your mind is already starting to think about how the story that you're telling may not be lining up to how you have started to create your reality with the words and the story that you're telling.
14:48.40
fsb
And so when we asked this question, Matt, how could this possibly be a gift? We didn't yet have the opportunity to go through the brainstorm, but what could that answer have looked like if you can think back to that journaling process? So how could this be a gift for us?
15:01.47
Matt Dahse
Well, one of the pieces of gold or the gift that came through this was for us to really look at what we were offering to the world, a two-hour men's circle. um and and get deeper into the the individual whys on why ah an individual wouldn't show up to this.
15:17.98
Matt Dahse
and And like two hours on a Sunday is a big commitment, right?
15:22.11
fsb
but
15:22.16
Matt Dahse
Showing up to a space with a bunch of strangers and being in your truth and real and vulnerable and honest can be scary as fuck for some men.
15:32.35
fsb
Especially if they've never been there before.
15:32.52
Matt Dahse
I mean, yeah it can be scary for me almost every time that it's my turn to speak at the King's Circle, like you feel that rush. And like that perspective, if everyone would have shown up and it would have been great, like I wouldn't have been analyzing the nuance of the invite that we were giving to men and brothers out there through this this ad campaign. I just would have flowed with it. But now I can see ah that that it's a pretty big ask to to to come to a men's circle with a bunch of strangers. That's one piece.
16:06.93
fsb
You know, as I've been navigating some of the the relationship challenges I've been in over the last few months, there have been moments where I felt really down about the the way that it's unfolded and I've been going through this process and I felt a little bit in victim, maybe a little bit sad.
16:23.43
fsb
um But this question of how could this be a gift is like, wow, this this pain that I'm feeling now that my partner and I are going through could actually be the thing that actually makes us stronger. So how could this be a gift is really an opportunity to reflect on what this could be in the future. And this is this is something that I'm really practicing in my life as I go through these experiences, when life feels like it's giving you a gut punch, is to reflect back on all the times in the past where I felt like I've been punched in the gut. Every time I've had my heart broken, every time I felt like I've, you know, life's tripped me up, I can always go back and see, wow, I'm really glad that that happened in retrospect, because it put me onto another path, it made me learn a lesson, I grew from it, for example,
17:08.79
fsb
And i use that as a sort of like a milestone to help me come back to center when i feel like i'm. Deep in the the turmoil of whatever is unfolding in my life at the moment and my example of this is like.
17:20.67
fsb
You know, ah there were times in the last few weeks where I'm like, fuck, I don't know if this relationship is going to even last. We've been properly in it. And I'm like, fuck, I'm really anxious that it's not going to go on. And then I think about my first real heartache, which was like, I was gutted. I couldn't get out of bed for days. And I was mourning the the loss of this potential relationship and how it was going to be. And I would never find another woman like her and all these stories.
17:44.32
fsb
Fuck, when I reflect back on that, now I'm really glad that relationship ended the way that it did because I learned so much from it. you know She ghosted me and I realized, fuck, that's how I have been ending a lot of my relationships. like Had I never had that, I would never have received that lesson. There was that. It also put me onto a different relationship path that ended me up in the relationship that I'm in now, which I'm super grateful for, and so many different things. And so sitting in the moment now of being in turmoil and being like, okay,
18:11.38
fsb
This feels shitty, but there's got to be a gift in this. And as I said at the beginning, this idea that there are no mistakes is really been an anchor for me to be like, okay, we're sitting in this pain right now. And we have been through this post game of taking a look at why nobody showed up to this event. None of the 84 men said yes to it. So, you know, how could this be a gift and how could we grow from it?
18:33.31
fsb
The answers almost came immediately. It took us doing a team brainstorm and unpacking these these elements that Matt spoke about, which brought us to what I'm going to share with you now, which was the warrior i walk. But as Matt said,
18:46.20
fsb
Had we received, let's say, five men showed up, we would have been like, okay, that was not as successful as we wanted. The fact that zero men showed up meant that we were really back on our back foot. We're like, shit, we gotta go to the drawing board here and see what's going on. When we went into that inquiry and looked at how this could be a gift, it forced us to ask questions like, what could be the reason that 84 men who were interested, they said yes to a free experience, but didn't show up. It forced us to look at those elements that Matt said, you know like a two hour Zoom call.
19:15.21
fsb
everybody's been on zoom too fucking much. I don't need another zoom call in my life. So let's, let's put that on the table as a potential challenge that he's like, I don't want to fucking do it. You know, I may want to improve. I may want to be a better leader and the, the King circle does seem to be the place, but another zoom call, not so much.
19:33.40
fsb
The other was a two-hour commitment. that's that's kind of a That's kind of a lot, especially on a Sunday. I don't know who these guys are. Maybe they're cool, but maybe they're not. Sunday's my day for being with my family. So there's another potential reason. And then as Matt spoke into,
19:48.74
fsb
If you've never been to a men's circle before, you may not know what to expect. And the idea of like, OK, what am I going to have to do here? Am I going to have to speak? Am I going to have to speak vulnerably? What is going to be asked of me? Maybe that's too much of a big hurdle to go from a Facebook ad directly to that. We put these we had to put these pieces on the table and be like, OK, this is what we have. What could we do instead?
20:12.21
Matt Dahse
Yeah, and one one thing I just want to circle back to before we get too far away from it, that point when but and we're analyzing our situation here with this king circle thing, but... In any situation in life, when you get gut punched, when you get to that point where you're able to see the gold from it, like when you got ghosted by that girl and it took you a while to get over that heartbreak, when you finally get to that point of like, wow, I see the the gold that I got from this, I see the gift from it, that's like a symbol of the healing for me.
20:41.27
fsb
Yes.
20:41.52
Matt Dahse
Like when when you when you get to that point, you're able to look back and be like, yeah, I really wouldn't change a thing. That's like the the signal of it being integrated.
20:50.10
fsb
Yep. Yeah.
20:50.86
Matt Dahse
And yeah, anyway, I wanted to throw that in there, but um actually i've I've lost the train of thought. Gareth, if you got it, bring it back.
20:57.35
fsb
So yeah, just just share what we got. So we we looked at these three components, another Zoom call, am I going to have to speak at the circle? And it's a two hour commitment. So we were up with our team with these potential objections up on the whiteboard. And we were like, how could we create another experience for these same 84 men to say yes to and share what came from that bro.
21:18.18
Matt Dahse
Well, we came up with the Warrior Walk, which was really your brainchild. Gareth had been, ah ah brought brought up this idea around how no one needs another Zoom call and he had wanted to do something where it was dynamic and out in nature. And ah yeah, we created this experience called Warrior Walk, which is a 30-minute walk in nature with men from around the world listening, tuning in on a Zoom call, audio only experience.
21:45.26
Matt Dahse
And that's what we launched as a result of this. And the turnout rate for that ended up being something in the 70 percentile. Is that possible?
21:55.81
fsb
That was the number, yeah. we had we ran three We ran three events.
21:57.19
Matt Dahse
Yeah.
21:59.48
fsb
The first one, we had 24 men register, 17 showed up. In the online game, it's all about percentages, like how many people register versus how many show up. And as I said at the beginning of this call, we were hoping for like a 20 to 30% show up rate from the 84 men who came.
22:15.31
fsb
But when we launched Warrior Walk, we had 17 out of 24. So whatever that number is, percentage-wise, it's like 60 or 70%. But it really forced us to go back to these questions and be like, how do we change this? And so we automatically said, OK, how do we make it less than two hours? What can we do in 30 minutes? What can we do that doesn't feel like another Zoom call? OK, what if they were walking outside and listening to something where they didn't have to talk? In fact, they weren't allowed to talk. And suddenly it became clear that we could create this transformational guided walking experience where you still dial into a zoom room but you put your phone in your pocket and with your headset on you're now being guided through an experience that creates the same sort of transformation connection to other men from around the world while doing something fun and unique arts in nature which is also a gift for you
23:02.54
fsb
that doesn't have the same barriers that the original offer had was the gold that came from this. And almost immediately we were like, fuck, this has been amazing. And so, you know, we ran three versions of Warrior Walk. We had 47 men in total show up to Warrior Walk for the first three. We've done another two since then. And it's been a proper home run. Warrior Walk has been so amazing.
23:22.75
Matt Dahse
Yeah. And the transformations that took place. I mean, I was running tech. You were running the the music experience and and speaking through the meditation of of getting in touch with this warrior energy and and directing the brothers who were on the call to, you know, look look the people who they were passing in their eye and imagine the child.
23:40.84
Matt Dahse
their inner child walking next to them and up. I'm sitting there running the tech and I'm sitting there just sitting at my desk, just bawling my eyes out crying. And then afterwards, the testimonials that flooded in really demonstrated that we were onto something here. And yeah, I think, you know, what I think we should share maybe one of those testimonials that came in.
24:01.34
fsb
Yeah, we've got we've got something we've been working on from a brother who had never heard of us before. I think he came through from the Facebook ads. um He decided to join Warrior Walk. He went on through the experience. He lives in ah in the UK. He put his headset on and he walked through the the the park or the nature close to where he lives. And he literally had a life changing transformation as a function of this 30 minute experience that we wouldn't have otherwise done had we had you know some people show up. And so in this moment, we're talking you through this process and thank you for sticking with us and for listening to this process because I think what it's revealing to me in real time is that life really is showing up
24:38.55
fsb
to to support us in whatever it is that we're doing. And even when it looks like we're up against the wall or that things have been in an inverted commas of failure, failure is really just a description that you choose to give to whatever experience you're holding in your life at the moment, you know, a failed relationship. No, I had a breakup from somebody who taught me so much about myself and put me onto a relationship path that got me into the relationship that I'm in today. Fuck, that's not a failure at all. That's been the biggest gift that I could have received. I wouldn't, as Matt said,
25:08.75
fsb
have got to that place of realizing, ah, here's my personal transformation from this difficult life event. This is the nature of why these things happen. And pretty soon when you get to this place, as Matt said, of shifting your energy away from victim suffering, holding on to what this should be, other than exactly what it is,
25:27.73
fsb
you get almost immediate reflections back to you from the universe. And we received this in this testimonial that we received from Tim, which was, he had a life-changing experience in a 30-minute meditation that we created off the cuff. And the world reflected that back to us immediately, like, yes, boys, you're on the right path here. You've done something meaningful.
25:49.27
Matt Dahse
Well, I love it, bro. I think let's put a link to that testimonial in the show notes, or are we going to play it as part of this episode?
25:56.20
fsb
Let's just put it on at the end. and We've been producing it already.
25:57.72
Matt Dahse
Okay.
25:58.68
fsb
We've got the voice note that Shannon's been working on, Shannon's our producer, and she's been putting some video to it. So there's gonna be a video version. If you're listening to this on audio, it'll be after the announcements that we're gonna jump into here. But yeah, just ah just a recap of this.
26:11.99
fsb
you know Wherever you are in your life right now, whatever you're holding in your world, it may feel like a gut punch, but going through this process of slowing things down, creating some spaciousness, get away from whatever's there. you know If you're having a tough time in your job, give yourself half a day or half an hour just to get into a coffee shop away from the normal routine. Just allow yourself to break out of and into a new fresh energy. you Grab a piece of paper and a pen and just write down the story as it's unfolding in your life. Then ask yourself, is this true?
26:42.88
fsb
Is this really true? And recognize that a lot of it is just narrative. Very often it's linked to our own core wounds, our own beliefs that I'm not good enough or that I've been rejected or that men don't give a fuck. Like that's all just story. And when you go through this questioning of seeing whether it's true, you get to recognize that it's not actually true.
27:01.77
fsb
And then you ask yourself, how could this be a gift? How could this failed promotion or this failed relationship be a gift? And we've given you some examples here, but just allow yourself to turn the situation completely upside down of what this could look like if it was a gift for you. Like a failed launch could look like putting you onto a new timeline or a new track or coming up with a new product or preventing you from doing something that maybe wasn't in your best interest or whatever that is. Those are the questions that come from how could this be a gift?
27:29.96
fsb
And pretty soon you find yourself in a different energy frequency. Your energy shifts, you feel yourself in a slightly different vibration. And then you're like, okay, I can't see what the magic is of this at the moment. I can't see why I'm going through this with my partner or why this has failed, but I trust that there is something happening and that life is showing up here to support me. yeah
27:50.97
Matt Dahse
So good.
27:52.65
fsb
So good.
27:54.46
Matt Dahse
Yeah, that's a piece of gold to take and flow.
27:54.48
fsb
Thank you for, thank you for holding me through that. I know we were really freaking down in the dumps when that happened. I was, um at the time I was in Panama and we were doing this remotely. And I was like, oh, I was absolutely gutted because it hadn't gone the way we wanted to. And we had expectations and attachments to the outcome. And yeah, so thank you for, for your support through this, bro.
28:16.18
Matt Dahse
It's school every day, isn't it?
28:18.45
fsb
Every day is a school day, exactly.
28:21.36
Matt Dahse
Yeah.
28:22.78
fsb
So before we um share Tim's testimonial with you, let's talk about a couple of exciting events that we have happening inside the Father, Son, Brothers community. um Matt, maybe you want to jump onto this program called Crown Your King and the importance of what that really represents and what it's about.
28:40.60
Matt Dahse
Yeah, we've been developing a program called Crown Your King, which is about finding that that inner leader within yourself who is the one in charge, the one who represents that best version of you that that is in control, that has his shit together and and really being able to identify who that version of you is within yourself, within your inner family.
29:05.32
Matt Dahse
and summoning that version of you forward in the situations where you need to show up full power. And so that's an exercise that we're putting that we've put together, that we're about to launch on our homepage. By the time you hear this this episode, it will be live. So you can go to FatherSonsBrothers dot.com and check that out. um And then what we one one of the reasons we crown our king is because When we do these King circles, it's the invite for you to show up to those, these King circles, these men circles that we do at the end of every month as that version of your King, like, like bringing that version of you to meet with other Kings and to speak our truth and to step into our role as leaders in this world. And so that's it. How'd I do?
29:59.87
fsb
Nailed it, dude. you know There's one thing that Matt and I have been talking about behind the scenes, which is this um this conversation about the integrated leader. And what that represents to us is the recognition that in order for us to usher in and create the more beautiful world that our hearts know is possible, to call in a new world, to step into a transformational space, is that work really starts within.
30:24.31
fsb
And in order to recognize that inner work that you're talking about, the integrated leader has to come from this place of assumption that recognizes that you have a shadow, that you have work to do, no matter how successful you've been in your life, no matter what's happened, the fact that you're born into this body, into this matrix at this time on the planet.
30:42.79
fsb
You've got some stuff. And for us, ah we've all got work to do.
30:44.49
Matt Dahse
You've got work to do.
30:46.60
fsb
And the moment that you pretend that you don't have work to do is a major red flag, because it seems that you don't think that you perhaps have a shadow that could be running some of your decisions, whether it's about money, relationships, business, or just generally how you're showing up in the world.
30:59.67
fsb
And the the role of getting connected to this integrated leader is the process of crowning your king. and Once you accept and start to recognize, okay, I've got this version of myself inside, my king, his name's Marcus, Matt King's name is Morpheus, and we're getting to know these versions of ourselves by recognizing that he's the best possible version of me and he also has some shit to do. He has some shadow. He has some things that show up in my relationship that make me make choices that I sometimes wish like, fuck, I wish I hadn't done that. Or I wish I had whatever, whatever, like recognizing what those things are. Because if we're moving out in the world and making our choices completely unconsciously and don't think that we have a shadow that's driving some stuff, it's potentially dangerous. And I think those are some of the challenges that we see in the world at the moment where people don't think that they're doing anything wrong and they're just,
31:48.32
fsb
f flat out foot on the gas, rolling with us as fast as possible, living in a world of more and more and more. and also not holding space to receive reflection for the things that you can't see. So as you get to know this king, the king circle is now your space to sit in a circle of men that we love and trust. We created the king circle so that we could become the integrated leaders in our lives that we want. So that I can sit in a circle and be like, I know I have this thing of not enough. I know I have these wounds. I know these things and I'm tracking. And we create the space inside the king circle to be like, what are the things that we're working on? What are the things that I can't see?
32:23.70
fsb
so that I can show up as an integrated leader in my life. and
32:27.11
Matt Dahse
Yeah, and doing it in the presence of other men who are also doing that work. There's and there's an element of support and accountability where like if i'm if I'm telling you a line of bullshit about some story that's going on with me and you see that I'm bullshitting myself, you have the spaciousness to be able to to see that and call me out on it and allow me to see that shadow that maybe I don't see.
32:47.56
fsb
Absolutely.
32:49.14
Matt Dahse
And and that's the type of environment that's created with that. Those King circles are on the last Sunday of every month This one coming up is going to be on the 27th of October and yeah, we're just going to keep rolling these out and we'd love to see whoever's listening. All 84 of you who are listening to show up.
33:07.98
fsb
ah Yeah, and we're also doing future states. You know, this community is growing and we're excited about how it's growing. And we're also, you know, we have this this story of the road to 10,000. We want to have 10,000 men showing up in a men's circle to support us in our journey and to integrate this technology of men's work into their own lives. Because when I show up, every single circle that I do, every single tribe gathering that I do, the better I get to know my own king.
33:35.42
fsb
The more I'm showing up better in my business, the more I'm showing up better in my relationships, and the more I'm showing up better as a leader in my life by recognizing these parts that I'm working on continually integrating. So that's really the process of crowning your king. We'll put a link to the crown your king um exercise, which will be on farthersonsbrothers.com in the show notes below. There'll also be a link for accessing the king circle, our free monthly men's circle that takes place at the end of the month.
34:01.40
fsb
And then lastly, we are going to be running from solo to soulmate again. This is our, we call it a mastery program. We have various layers of our community. We have some free experiences. We have our tribe membership, which is a premium monthly membership for men to get access to additional content, training, and community. So like the next level after you've been to the King Circle, you join the tribe. There's ah there's a training program there that supports you to help this integration process. You get to know more members of your inner kingdom, not just your king. You get to meet your,
34:34.90
fsb
your princess, you get to meet your wounded child, you get to meet your warrior, you get to meet all these different parts of yourself and we journey inside the father, son's, brother's tribe membership with that. And then we have what are called mastery programs where we look at a specific theme in your life and support you through some tools and training that we've either co-created with ourselves, learnt and integrated in our own lives or perhaps bring in a specialist to support around a specific theme. And so A year ago, we ran the first version of From Solo to Soulmate, our relationship training program. It was a home run. Matt described that that training unfolded the first time we ran it.
35:16.32
Matt Dahse
I think, that if I could put it in one word, it was transformational. It was transformational. even even i mean I was sort of a co-facilitator, but also a lot of the content I was going through for the first time and the tools that I learned there shaped the relationship that I have with myself as it relates to my partner. and And last year when I did it, I was in partnership. I'm still in the same partnership. I'm married. And the the tools that are installed into into your life through this experience are ones that are practical, that are high impact.
36:01.82
Matt Dahse
and that ah that that are lasting and that change the way that we look at relating, that changes the way that we own our desires and attract what it is that we want, whether it's in an existing partnership or finding a new connection.
36:17.38
Matt Dahse
and like
36:20.94
Matt Dahse
Why weren't we taught this stuff earlier? Like, why why don't we have these tools earlier in life is the only question I have. Like, i like there's a part of me that that regrets not having the the tools earlier. And so, yeah, I think it's an essential piece of of scaffolding that every man needs in his life. And yeah, AMP to be putting it on again, especially in collaboration with ah with Leonard Lowe. Maybe you could dive into that a bit.
36:50.57
fsb
Yeah, bro. You've, you've nailed it. You know, one of these things is that we relationships. Let me start again. There's been research that's been shown after an 84-year study at Harvard that shows the people that determine the quality of their life is reflected by the quality of the relationships that they have, meaning people that look back on their life and say, I had a good life, or people that said that they had good relationships in their lives. Those that said that they didn't have a good life tended to be people that didn't have good relationships. And so if this is the key measurement of what happiness means and it means to have a meaningful life,
37:23.55
fsb
Why do we not, as Matt said, have the ability to be able to understand, does anybody tell you how to choose a partner? Nobody. You just sort of end up swiping right, swiping left. She looks cool. We'll see how it rolls. And if we manage to make it stick, it it works. And there are some frameworks to be able to hold relationships together, like a marriage and other pieces. But the ability to be able to select, maintain, ongoing communicate,
37:51.07
fsb
handle relationship challenges is not something that we're taught. And over the last decade, myself and Matt have been going on various transformational trainings, deep diving into these various elements, because I noticed in my life, I was going through relationships really quickly, continually waiting for my ideal partner to show up, only to find problems in all of the people that I was manifesting. There's only a certain amount of time that you can do that before you have to look within and be like, what's the common denominator here that's preventing me from manifesting this ideal partnership that I want?
38:21.52
fsb
Surprise, surprise, it's me. The inner work that we just spoke about is my work to do. So what are the tools that I can use to get rid of some of the recurring patterns and choices that I'm making so that I can attract the ideal partner that I want into my life?
38:36.35
fsb
And then how do I communicate effectively on an ongoing basis to support myself so that I don't lose myself in my relationship or end up people pleasing just to continually support my partner? So what are these tools that we can use to support one another? And that's really some of the tools that we teach inside From Solo to Soulmate. So that's the first element. We're super excited to be doing that again. And at the same time, myself and Matt have both been working with a sex coach whose name is Leonard Lowe.
39:02.34
fsb
The man has spent over a decade learning about various levels of sexual mastery, intimacy, the art of lovemaking, and a couple of really, really important components of how to develop powerful and potent sexual energy inside a relationship. And we're gonna be combining these in Solo to Soulmate version two. So it's gonna be sexual and relationship mastery for men. It's a 12-week program that's kicking off at the end of November, depending on when you're listening to this.
39:31.77
fsb
The way to get there is through a really rad, fun experience that we've created called the Soulmate Safari. And this is a like a 20-minute master class that touches on some of these elements that'll help you apply some of these tools into your life right now based on the relationship that you either have, you're looking for some support or some frameworks to support the relationship that you have, or it's also gonna support you if you're on the space of wanting to call in a partnership. You're looking for primary partnership, you wanna be,
40:01.03
fsb
the power couple, but 50% of the power couples not available, the soulmate safari is going to be for you. So we'll include a link to the soulmate safari below this and um yeah, take a look through the soulmate safari. At the end of that, there's an opportunity to jump on a soulmate assessment call from there. You can chat to myself or somebody from our team and see whether from solo to soulmate kicking off at the end of November is going to support you.
40:29.58
Matt Dahse
All I hear are wind chimes in the background. And I keep thinking it's disrupting that. Can you hear them? I don't even know.
40:35.15
fsb
Yeah, it's great. It feels really peaceful.
40:38.29
Matt Dahse
It's a feature.
40:41.05
fsb
Feels like we're in a monastery, Buddhist monastery.
40:45.44
Matt Dahse
Well, bro, thanks for running through all that. And that might be it for this episode of the postgame on Father's Sons Brothers podcast.
40:53.17
fsb
Yeah. Yep. Yep. Thank you so much for checking out this episode. We'll check you out again next week with another version of the post game. If you have any feedback or any comments on how to turn a gut punch into a gift, please leave us a comment below. If you're not subscribed to the show, wherever you listen to this on YouTube or on Spotify or Apple podcasts, just hit that subscribe button. It really supports the show and allows us to grow and get more empowering guests on the show and um Yeah, continue to create content that that supports the men inside our community. So thank you so much for checking out this episode. Matt, thanks, bro. Windchimes and all. We'll see you on the next episode.
41:29.47
Matt Dahse
Thank you, Gareth. See you then. Cheers y'all.
41:32.49
fsb
Much love. Ciao.
