00:01.68
calltocourage
Welcome to the call of courage. This is Gareth hanging out today with dear brother Erin Klannaman welcome to the show bud couple technical challenges. This is our second take but good to have you here share with our audience. What? um.
00:06.00
Aaron
Yeah, nice to be here bro.
00:18.39
calltocourage
What lights you up? What's been keeping you busy. The first part of this year and what you've been working on and yeah, what what gets you out of bed in the morning.
00:26.28
Aaron
Um, yeah, love that question. Um I mean I think generally what gets me out of my bit out of the bed is just a continual you know driving for and a lot of the work I share in transformational spaces and. Yeah, helping both myself and lots of people around the world waking Up. You know how do we? How do we wake the fuck up. How do we step forth into a new paradigm of being on this planet and you know I think one of the things that drives me forward is helping people. Could say master the human experience so that more of the wisdom inside of all of our souls gets to be expressed and shared and exemplified out into the world.
01:04.60
calltocourage
What are some of the the methods that you used to help people wake up and and maximize their human experience like what are some of the the teachings that are part of your program that you that you facilitate.
01:18.46
Aaron
Yeah, so I do a lot of ah, kind of somatic therapy I help people take concepts out of the mind and into the body I'm sure people listening and maybe yourself can ah experience the times in our lives when we. Understand a concept around something but then when the decision making happens. We're so still sometimes making decisions as if we're a young you know, 14 or 15 year old and the body hasn't actually caught up with the awareness of the mind. So. But of the practices I do and you know things that I've I've shared in my book as well is helping people kind of get out of the mind and more into the body. It's not that the mind goes away. We still listen to the mind but we utilize the different centers of the body for for deeper listening and actually tuning in more to the deeper. Edges and the places inside the body of like how and what's actually going on inside. You know, just just today I'm I'm here and in a ruba right now for did buddy's um, wedding and I was having a chat with one of the one of the family friends and he was just discussing about some of the stress he was feeling in his body and how was. Stomach responds sometimes in having stomach pain and I was just explaining how you know stress makes a direct representation in the body because if we're not breathing and sounding and expressing a lot of the the past ailments and the traumas that we've held onto.
02:46.30
Aaron
And our body starts to take form into cancer into disease into stomach pain into all the different ailments simply because we're not letting the energy that's been that we've gone through actually expressed through our system.
03:02.65
calltocourage
What's the what's the cause of that like let me go back to the first papower remark question. What what gets us to a place where we have a different level of experience in the body that we do in our mind what does that disconnect? what.
03:05.24
Aaron
Yeah.
03:13.96
Aaron
Um, well I think the biggest disconnect is for so many people at a very young age What we're taught by society is logic reason understanding and logic reason understanding are all the the concepts and the understandings of our kind of our cognitive mind. And so as we move forward and in life a lot of what's high in values with mathematics and science and you know doing well in our society. Is about you know, do we understand the world Well can we explain Concepts Well can we analyze problems. Well all these other things. A lot of body based knowledge isn't something that's high on the values for a lot of individuals. So The best way that we start. Is just simply by beginning to listen more deeply and to listen more deeply and this is especially true for male bodies listening It's about taking away all the addictions that get us in the way of actually listening to our body. So the alcohol and the drugs and you know even maybe the excessive plant medicine and the coffee and the nicotine and all the things that actually numb us this is numbing us from being able to listen deeply to what the body's trying to tell us.
04:31.91
calltocourage
And so for someone listening and maybe interested in going on a journey to get rid of some of those things and start listening to the body. What's the what's the path. What what is the body trying to tell us how does somebody know what the body's trying to tell us if we haven't been listening. What would we hear.
04:48.99
Aaron
Yeah again, great question I mean I think one of the first things to do is to notice when stress or when anger or when issues arise if you're listening and you find yourself. Being triggered by something. There's an upset that happens in your body What's the first thing that you do do you reach for the beer. Do you reach for the weed. Do you reach for Tv do you reach for social media. Do you reach for something rather than just sitting with and being with. The energy and the sensation that's happening inside the body and when we can just be with that energy doesn't mean we need to push it away doesn't mean it's going to go away it just means we need to be present with the sensation. The experience that's happening in our body and and the more we do that. The more we can actually start to tune in to listen more deeply to what's coming up to what's alive to what's present and the same way you know a dog those of you that are dog owners. You know after a dog sees a storm or gets scared a dog goes to the corner and it shakes its body does. Ah. Releases some of the stored stuck energy and so if our bodies have gone through our entire lifetime without shaking and expressing and moving. Then there's a lot of condensed coagulated energy in our system that's inhibiting us from actually being able to be present.
06:20.37
Aaron
Being present means that I'm not future projected fantasy in the things that I'm trying to find in the future and I'm not you know, um, very associated to all the issues and the resentments and the guilts of the past. I'm being present here and now with what is but to be present with what is that means that I'm present with what's alive in my body.. What's the the feeling. What's the sensation. What's the pain. What's the Happiness. What's the Sadness. What's the joy that I'm feeling. And can I just simply be with that without trying to do anything other than anything other than that.
07:00.89
calltocourage
You mentioned triggers as a as a part of the experience of what we're going through what is underneath a trigger. What is it that makes somebody feel triggered by something and yeah recognizing it and then not avoiding it I get that part. What is it that. That causes somebody to be triggered by an experience or by their partner or something like that.
07:24.34
Aaron
Um, well triggers are treasures triggers are treasures that are are leading us back home into the safety of our own body. They're the treasures that are um. Indicating that something is happening inside of us. So if I'm triggered if if you do something and I find myself saying I'm upset because Garrett did this I'm upset because he's like this I'm upset because blah blah blah all that's doing is. In that situation I'm upset because you've done something. Ultimately, you're being a catalyst for triggering a physiological or a you know, somatic response in my body that's creating a certain.
08:13.66
calltocourage
Words.
08:14.62
Aaron
Um, indication of a change in my own physiology at that moment when I find myself Triggered. There's often an emotion.. There's a there's a rising of Energy. Our nervous system is rising from a parasympathetic to a. Sympathetic. So Sometimes we might want to fight or we might want to run away or we might want to freeze you know all these different responses that happen in our body and so the trigger is actually just indicating to us that something about this situation is reminding. Me if I was getting triggered by you. It's reminding me of something from my past that I haven't learned to love honor and appreciate and the premise of that is that the body these bioelectric magnetic vibrating machines that were in. Are made up of positive cells and negative cells. So the positive cells and negative cells if there's things in my past that I haven't learned to love honor and Appreciate. Then the reason I'm getting triggered by them in my present day moment.
09:19.39
calltocourage
Oh wait.
09:25.79
Aaron
Is because literally I'm attracting that situation to remind me of what I didn't love about the past which is why a lot of people have the same partner over and over and over again just with a different name or they keep hitting the heading. It's the same brick wall. Over and over and over again because they're not actually asking the right question to heal the trigger at the root this is the work that I do I help bring the unconscious conscious so that people can heal the triggers here. Heal the trauma at the root and we're not just going to circulate around it in sitting in you know therapy for the next ten years we're actually going to dive into the core of it feel what we need to feel say what we need to say and actually clear through. What's being what has been held in our body for probably a lifetime.
10:19.15
calltocourage
Yeah I Love that in some of the work that I do like the idea of understanding how we create our reality the analogy of our field creates our form meaning that in order for us to shift the world around us which is a representation of our. Relationship to our partners to the world to money For example is a function of how we're holding the frequency inside Ourselves. So How do you?? How could you describe to someone or support somebody that recognizes that they've been triggered for two things. How do they shift their state into ah perhaps a more positive and grounded State. And what's the way to be able to reflect and to honor like what would be a practice if I noticed that I'm triggered by something Obviously as's a week-long workshop with you reading your book. Those are types of things but practically what are some things that I could do to be able to accept and honor those past experiences when I realize they're coming up in the present.
11:10.41
Aaron
Yeah, yeah, I Love the what you mentioned with the the state change. So You know there's definitely simple practices that you can do and I'll speak into that in a minute. The the state change is the recognition of being able to see the current situation that we often are only seeing in a certain level being able to see it through different lens but the only way that we change the lens of our perception. Is when we ask ourselves the right question so that we can begin to expand and and and and showcase the neural pathways of our brain that we haven't actually gone down yet. So we shift our lens I would say less from going into a positive direction.
11:43.74
calltocourage
Are.
11:58.57
Aaron
More to an aquamous state to a state where where we can become present for both sides of the coin because a lot of people. You know the thing that we thought was so terrible and so until we see the advantages of it then it's probably still you know leading and and running our lives. And so beginning to see both sides of the spectrum. Lets us start to recognize. Ah okay, this is actually happening for me. The universe is happening for me, not against me so in something bad. Happens. It's recognizing Well what are the advantages when something really amazing Happened. It's not to to take it down but it's also to recognize that there are just as many disadvantages in something positive as there are um advantages in something that we deem Negative. And then when we can see both of these things. What happens is that we take that awareness and it drops down into our body into our heart and this is where the practices of moving and shifting and expressing our body differently start to come into action because as I you know as I saying before.
13:04.30
calltocourage
So.
13:10.38
Aaron
We can understand concepts in the mind but then our body sometimes responds differently so the first process of this and this is really the journey I take people on in through my book just first about like balancing and equilibrating the mind. And then beginning to come into the emotional expression. So one of the practices that somebody can do to heal and to clear their their emotional bodies when that trigger comes up see what it reminds them of and then maybe they find themselves back. You know. In their awareness as a young 10 year old and you know their dad said something that they were frustrated with that. They didn't actually express. That's not fair. Dad. Ah and you let your body express you shake you move, you move the energy that you probably didn't have a chance to do as a young child. And the more that you're doing that. It's healing and clearing those past memories and bringing you more and more present. You know you you have a lot of men that are that listen to this really healthy quality for masculinity is presence. I'm sure a man listening as I heard 1 time or another I want you to be more present with me why why aren't you present what what are you thinking about? where are you and most people aren't present because some things are happening and their mind is reverberating back into a moment in the past.
14:24.66
calltocourage
Ah.
14:37.52
Aaron
So we're not actually here listening because we're still stuck on all the things that we wanted to be different in our past. So we heal that and we clear that by doing the timeline regression by doing the somatic therapy by doing the distalt work by doing the work that helps us.
14:42.64
calltocourage
I.
14:56.86
Aaron
Heal and clear the things in our past so that we can create a life more aligned to who we who we know we're meant to be.
15:06.48
calltocourage
There's that saying that um you can only be triggered if you're loaded like the sense of being able to shift and move your energy is a function of your ability to be able to stay calm and stay present. But if you're always up to your eyeballs in old stories and old Traumas that are potentially holding you in the present Moment. You're very close to being triggered by that same experience in your in your reality again. So yeah, when you spoke about the the dog that went into the corner to shake out of the storm is that a practice that you would suggest. For somebody who feels triggered to be able to move their energy or what could somebody do if they noticed that they were triggered in the moment and.
15:41.31
Aaron
Yeah, absolutely I mean a very simple easy practice like if someone's triggered in a moment or they're driving in traffic and someone's tucked them off take 1 hand over the other and go give a little hamstream a shake of the body a movement of the energy. And it's not that that's trying to push it away. It's just so that when the next moment comes and you need to make a decision. You're making a decision from less of a triggered upset self and more of a present equilibrated being. And and the more consistently someone does that then the better I mean there's a great um, very simple practice actually that my my friends here and in arubas was a practice I was recommending to him does it. I did this I remember the first time for thirty days straight and it really changed my reality It's a practice I have outlined in my book as well and I call it everythingness and nothingness so you put a timer on your phone and for 5 minutes in the morning. And for 5 minutes you go into movement. You go into sadness you go into anger you just move the body but not from a calculated cognitive way you move your body just in the unknown. Maybe there's a shaking out. Maybe there's ah, there's a.
17:03.47
Aaron
Opening of the jaw. There's a releasing of the tongue is whatever wild its static energy wants to move through you for 5 minutes 5 minutes is not a lot of time in the morning that alarm goes off the end of the 5 minutes you then put another alarm on you hit start again. And then you sit in a silent observatory meditation this is more of the witnessing without judgment. This is more of the you should say the the healthy masculine pole of the stillness of the silence of the of ah being aware of your past self that just erratically moved a lot for 5 minutes of all the things that are happening in your life and you just sit in a silent meditation. What this practice is doing is training the 2 polarities that are inside you whether you're male, body or female body. The everything this is letting the feminine expression move and shake and vibrate and let all that come through. The the sitting in silence is letting the witnesser without judgment and the masculine essence cultivate more of that. Then if you've done that through the day later on in the day when your wife or your girlfriend or your husband whoever may be is crazy and and and you know flipping out. You're less judgmental of the chaos because you know the chaos inside of you. We have an empathy for it rather than oh my god this is crazy. It's not crazy because you are expressing the crazy in the morning practice and you also have a greater capacity to witness the crazy because you cultivated more of that.
18:19.50
calltocourage
A.
18:27.48
calltocourage
Right.
18:35.80
Aaron
5 minutes of just witnessing the world without judgment. So what you do by doing a practice like that is you cultivate more of your capacity to witness to be present and to know empathetically the crazy on the outside and the crazy on the inside.
18:50.85
calltocourage
Such a great tip. Thank you for sharing that? Yeah, let's get into your book. You wrote a book called the embodied man. What is that about what was the the desire to want to create this work and put it out into the world and what's the who should read this.
18:56.28
Aaron
Um, yeah, you're welcome.
19:09.60
calltocourage
Every man.
19:10.75
Aaron
Yeah, every man for sure you know, um, you know when I wrote the book I wrote it for the perspective towards men and I was curious. How book sales would dough and how things would come out. It's been out for over over two years when I came out initially it was a. International bestseller in 7 countries and you know blew up around the world and still continues to do very well audible version just came out a couple weeks ago I wrote it towards the perspective of man because I know if I didn't then ah a man would actually pick it up and read it whereas. I know if I wrote it rope wrote it towards like all beings men would like ah no, that's not written towards me I wrote it towards man and still 50% of the sales have been from female bodies. So it's really a book for all humans I mean there's over 40 practices in this book.
19:51.20
calltocourage
Are.
19:58.71
calltocourage
Ah.
20:03.80
Aaron
It's not just all about practices. It's a lot of my own storytelling through my adventures through my Journeys to the time I've almost died through the times I've you know fallen flat on my ass over and over and over again and it's the lessons that I've learned as well as the specific practices that people can do. And the comfort of their own home to make a trajectory and a change in their own life. You know I Run retreats all over the world and I love when people come to retreats. But it's no way on Earth that every human can ever get to. You know all the retreats and things I run but I know a lot of humans can.
20:34.68
calltocourage
And.
20:41.13
Aaron
You know, pay $25 for you know, an audible book or you know a book on Amazon to be able to make an actual quantitative change in their life. So this is definitely written towards men you know to become more out of the mind into the body. But it's really, ah, a deep journey of somatic therapy. It's a deep journey of mastering life in a way that you know our soul awakens by the end of it and that's chapter 10 is like awakening soul wisdom um, you know it's it's for all beings who want to. Master the human experience and really wake up to more of what this life is about.
21:21.94
calltocourage
So Good. You know when you spoke about the fact that you have the embodied man in the title and yet only 50% of your sales come from men. To me that points to something around the fact that men tend to not invest in their personal development or in retreats in the same way that women do have you found that to be true.
21:42.77
Aaron
Absolutely you know I mean I I run a lot of men's retreats I do a lot of work with men and probably 75 to eighty percent of the clients I work with are specifically men. But if I look at the greater scale of transformational work and retreats and things for sure. It's at least I'd say it's probably like a sixty forty or maybe like a. Um, 65 35 split in terms of what I see out there in the industry I mean I've been working in this field for 16 years I did a master's degree in spiritual psychology you know in my early 20 s I worked a lot in the. Ah, kind of mindfulness world more around self-development and and those pieces and then in the last eight nine years really a much deeper dive into tantra I mean there's definitely men in the field. But in general I find women are much more trying to bring their partners and their boyfriends and. You know all of the other beings into this world to support them in that way.
22:41.10
calltocourage
Rut. Interesting. Yeah I would have yeah I'm not maybe as close to it and I haven't been in it it for as long as you but I've got a sense that it might have even been more like maybe 8020 in terms of 20% of men in the whole market are potentially looking at it. But yeah, that's interesting.
22:59.21
Aaron
That could be more accurate. Yeah I mean I'd say in the circles I'm in generally retreats and things is always quite a few more women which is funny as a lot of men like our signal and trying to meet women and things like that and like just come to a retreat and there's.
23:13.68
calltocourage
ah ah what what got you on this path in the in the first place. How do you? How do you in your early 20 s decide I want to go into personal development or was there something specifically that happened in your life or what was the.
23:16.70
Aaron
Um, many women saying we're all the conscious men where are they I'm looking.
23:32.22
calltocourage
Ah, call that put you out to this particular path.
23:34.94
Aaron
Yeah I mean there are definitely many kind of milestones along the way I'm ah a ship's captain by trade so kind of come from a maritime military world. But even before I went there I mean when I was 14 again, 1 of the stories I share in my book I um. Counseled my father out of his gambling addiction. It was about a 3 hour trip from ah from Boston up to New Hampshire to your visit. My sister at University Gambling had pretty much played his life. You know ever since I was old enough to be aware. And I just had a very you know, clear conscious conversation with him I was fourteen years old I didn't really understand what was going on I just knew you know he was losing a lot of money to gambling and wasn't really always there. And I just spoke to his heart. You know I kind of reasoned with him as his loving son saying hey there's a better way of being in the world and now you know that's what 20 I just turned 40 this last year so about Twenty five years later he still you know hasn't gambled a day in his life since then um so that was a shifting moment. You know it. It was a recognition that there was something inside of me that you know China became more of my family shrink in some ways and still do try not to take that role as much as I can but certainly it happens sometimes um.
24:50.62
calltocourage
Ah.
24:53.71
Aaron
And yeah, and then life you know, brought into the bringing me to a maritime academy mainly because I I knew I didn't want to do that for a lifetime but I wanted to be able to be 22 with a maritime license and work for half of the year and be able to travel half of the year and you know have adventures and do more of what I wanted to do in the world. Um, and so yeah, you know there are numerous other steps along the way but I eventually as I said I did a master's in in spiritual psychology when I was 25 and I always just had a love for human behavior humans in general have fascinated me I've I've asked the bigger questions as. Who are we and and and why we here and and what is this world all about and the more that I've asked those questions the more I've gotten deeper into the mystery trainings into the esoteric trainings into the the deeper pontifications about our universal design and also wanting to take. Kind of esoteric concepts and ground it into day-to-day life and that's really what's most fascinating to me is finding ways to ground. You know the mystery and the the mystical trainings that sometimes Tom Ter speaks about a lot of other you know, lineages and things speak about. Into practical day to day things that we can make a change in the way in which relate to ourself the way we relate to each other in relationship to our family to our work so we can just be more loving whole humans that actually love and appreciate life.
26:28.48
calltocourage
How's your relationship with your dad now is he slur out.
26:32.40
Aaron
Yeah, he's still around. Um, yeah, it's good I mean we're not like you know best buds at talked all the time but we see each other a couple times a year when I passed through Boston and we have great conversations I mean the thing of my dad I've always loved is you know he's a reader. Um, you know we we have great conversations about philosophy and politics and all kinds of things like that usually catch up on the the local boston sports teams. That's what he's often kind of surrounding himself with. But yeah I you know. I think the the lessons that I learned really from both parents. You know the thing I would have always wanted to hear from my father was I've got this like I've got this under control and that was just never there. So what it installed in me was a ah deep capacity to be extremely self. You know, independent. Know how to get things done know how to be self-sufficient at a very young age and I grew up quite quickly and for a long time I resented him for that I had a lot of frustrations for that and then through doing a lot of this healing work and and healing and and clearing more and more. I can just generally love him for who he is and not feel like I need to change him and not you know shift anything about him and just okay, this is who he is this is how he shows up and I'm grateful. He helped bring me in this world and for that I'm I'm eternally grateful.
27:51.22
calltocourage
What are some of the the challenges you see facing men in the world at the moment. What are some of the things that have got you to a place where you feel like you want to serve men Specifically we've touched on some of the emotional pieces in some of the places where we Perhaps. Ah, disconnected from the somatic experience of being in a body. What are some of the other challenges you see facing men and masculinity in the world right now.
28:15.96
Aaron
Well I think a big one is a lot of men have an experience of walking on egg shells and the way I define that is a lot of the world says we need you to be strong and powerful and fierce and you know be the man that gets things done and takes care of things. And then at the same time men are said but but don't don't be too much and don't use your cock you know in bad ways and and you can't be too strong or too powerful or to this and so men often have this experience of where do I go? How do i. They tell me to be strong but not to be too strong and and so I think the challenge for a lot of men is is not knowing necessarily where and how they fit in and so their confidence ends up struggling they end up in very numbing. Ah, jobs where they're not fulfilled inside and then before they know it, they're 50 years old of the big beer but beer gut and they're they're shut down. They're empty and and many of them end up taking their lives I mean during covered male suicide rates went skyrocket because. A man that's not on purpose a man that feels like he doesn't have any resources of things around him and a man that you know feels like he's just is he either too much or is too little. He can feel very alone and can be like ah, what's the point of even being here.
29:44.40
Aaron
So A real strong initiative for me is supporting men to feel like they can be safe in their body. They can be safe to feel. They can be safe to be Powerful. You know I know you do a lot of men's work as Well. And. It's just so important to find time where men can come together just with other male bodies and I want to share the reason to me I found this to be so important and especially a man that's listening and I'll explain it from a place of polarity. Because the polarrate like wear in male bodies and there's also a a feminine essence inside of us just like there's a yin and a yang and a positive and negative where in a male body but there's still a feminine essence this feminine essence for a lot of men. Hasn't felt like it's had a chance to grow up and mature and and get older through space and time So a lot of men feel very alone in their emotions because they feel like nobody can actually experience and love and appreciate their emotions. And so when men can come together where 2 things are on the table power and vulnerability the power to look to another man in the eyes and say I see you brother Rise Brother don't let me push you Down. We can both Rise together expressing our power.
31:11.64
Aaron
And 2 vulnerability meaning all of you is welcome your tenderness your tears. All of that is there when men come together in that way that feminine essence inside a man can start to grow up and mature more because she feels safe enough. To come out in a place where also other men are doing the same. But if that space with other men is is ridiculed with with competition and blame and shame and and all the other things that often get. Um, labeled around men coming together in just kind of locker room bullshit talk then that feminine essence can't grow up so when those 2 pieces are on the table where absolute vulnerability is celebrated and appreciated and absolute power is celebrated and appreciated. That young tender feminine in a man's body actually has a chance to grow up and mature and start to um, become less of a little girl and more of a more integrated teenager and maybe even a young adult so that that man is more integrated. And whole and not looking for love on the outside. He's knowing love on the inside and this is a challenge but also one of the beauties of of men's work and 1 of the real important reasons for that and a lot of men are afraid of going into that because that vulnerability is scary.
32:43.69
Aaron
And they they think that they want a partner to hold them in that vulnerability. But if that partner is a female body that doesn't have healthy masculinity that can witness without judgment and be a good spaceholder then when the feminine essence in the male body comes out. And the female body doesn't have a capacity to actually hold that and witness it and not judge it then the result is that feminine essence in a man's body goes back into a darker cave than the place that she came from.
33:11.10
calltocourage
Is.
33:16.75
Aaron
So really, this is one of the important reasons why men coming together in a safely held way is so important for their integration evolution and expansion.
33:30.67
calltocourage
So much there. Wow What? Ah how does how does someone recognize that they may have suppressed their feminine someone listening to this who's in a male body. What how do they know? what would this feel like or look like for somebody.
33:43.97
Aaron
Well, the way it would look like is you know a are you riddled with addictions a a immature young feminine and man's body is often often reaching for marijuana she's reaching for cigarettes. She's reaching reaching for alcohol because. And I'll just relate this to my own journey and like I coming from a maritime military world like I definitely there was times in my life where you could have called me a you know alcoholic you know there's a lot of alcohol. There was a lot of suppression. There was a lot of numbing and the reason that that was happening says there was so much pain. And anguish and frustration. Especially towards my mom and the childhood that I'd come through so when I was able to feel all of those emotions then I found myself no longer reaching for a bottle because I was starting to become more present with my emotional body. So. 1 of the first gateways for a man to start to recognize that his feminine is a bit more young or immature or not grown up is that he's not able to express how he feels or also and I'll I'll be revolutionary here and say. That you're okay to have needs as a man as well. That's this other thing that like masculine men who are really super over alpha like I have no needs I'm a man I just get things done and I burn myself out when I'm forty five and fifty because I've just been running on both ends my entire life and I don't even know what a need means.
35:17.55
Aaron
Feminine knows how to express her needs. She knows how to say and ask for what she wants. So If you're a man and you have trouble expressing your Needs. You have trouble feeling your emotions or you find yourself ridddle riddled with addictions and anxiety and stress. Then there's often a feminine essence an emotional energy inside that hasn't had a chance to to express to grow up to begin to become more present in the in a man's day-to-day life.
35:46.42
calltocourage
Yeah,, it's so beautiful I I recognize that part in my own journey as Well. You know when a version of me that also hadn't had the space of going into safe. Well-held containers where men actually get the opportunity to and are encouraged to Speak. What's genuinely allowed for Them. I Found myself in a place where like you said I thought that I always had to have everything together I didn't want to dump or load my bullshit onto other people or my heavy stories onto other people and it came out for me in this way of hanging out with men that I love the most. And when they asked about topics that I felt uncomfortable with or that weren't aligned to how I thought they wanted me to be I would either avoid the conversation or tell like a small white lie to get there. So for example, having a beer with a friend of mine. That's one of my best friends and inverted comers and he asks me how my business is going when business is going shit. Rather than say you know I'm really backling with it at the moment I say something like yeah, it's going all right? How things with your business. You know like quick diversion to move it and that for me is yeah the inability to be able to speak into what's genuinely going on for me in that moment and when my when my words don't match my energy. The other person can feel it whether it's conscious or not they recognize that something's up like something wasn't aligned with what I said and what my energetic body was was putting out and whether they can articulate it or not. It's actually impossible to build trust with the people that you love in the relationships that you're in.
37:18.62
calltocourage
If You don't if your words don't match your energy and so the practice of coming together for men to be able to speak into what's genuinely alive. It doesn't have to be super deep and you know, Um, yeah, super sad and these are the worst. It's just genuinely. What's actually alive and bringing that. Is is such a powerful practice and I recognize that to be part of my my journey in the past you know the the deflection of something because I couldn't speak into what was going on for me.
37:43.29
Aaron
Yeah, absolutely you know when you share that what it reminds me of you know, actually coming from the maritime Academy I Went to our our motto There was act a nonverba which means it's the actions that we say not the words that we communicate and and that.
37:57.60
calltocourage
Susan.
38:00.28
Aaron
With such a ah strong. You know there's other sides of the military world I don't necessarily agree with but I really resonated with that piece because the actions of how we show up in our day-to-day world mean so much and of course the words we say have impact. But when I can be more of the change I Want to see rather than just say the things that I think I should do. There's a vast difference in that being the change is is is really where I feel like we need more than anything strong embodied conscious men. That are being the change Their their heart is open. They're not disconnected from their feelings but they're not not so deeply immersed in their feelings that they're just a floating seaweed in the sea. You know you spend enough time in spiritual communities and things like that you see men who. Ah, just been. You know their balls are cut off and it's like they're just completely in the feminine floating all around oh and they're lost and so it's not you know and sometimes even for Myself. There's definitely a time where I went there.
39:03.12
calltocourage
Um, who.
39:07.24
Aaron
And then it was coming back into that that a Quantum state where I have an awareness of the the power and the certainty and the strength of my masculine I have an awareness of my intuition my creativity my tenderness my vulnerability and I let these energies merge and weave together. From the center of my heart and show up in the world that way I think that to me is an embodied man who who knows the power of his heart. He knows the power of his Cock. He knows how to utilize his cock but he doesn't overuse his cock to try to gain power over Others. He just has it as a. Powerful force that can bring more love onto this planet, especially with his beloved and his partner. You know that's a place where a man who is not only connected to the awareness of his mind the awareness of his heart but also isn't riddled with the shame and and. The discomfort of his own sexuality knows how to immerse and integrate a sexuality in safe effective ways without hurting others along the way.
40:15.15
calltocourage
I'm glad you touched on intimacy. What? Um, what is the role that you see or perhaps the wound that you see around men and intimacy in the work that you're doing.
40:25.99
Aaron
Yeah I think the wound I mean it's it's multifold. You know I see some very much more like advanced wounds. You should say where one of the I see I think one of the deepest Traumas that society Never really talks about. Is the male to male sexual abuse that exists all over this world. It's it's's especially strong in certain cultures around the world won't go into those cultures but that's quite there and as a result.
40:52.90
calltocourage
Um, for.
40:57.70
Aaron
You know men get kind of you know, shut down in their erotic energy and the other thing that's a wound is you know with a man's folic power often that that folic power has never really. Been met with the place of reverence and Appreciation. So A lot of men are afraid of their own heart On. They're afraid of oh my God I'm Hard. You know if I'm hard and I'm in the wrong place. Something bad is going to happen. Oh My God like that's that's the worst thing you know, be just so much of society.
41:29.47
calltocourage
Um I have.
41:31.63
Aaron
Thinks a hard talk for a man just is going to rape and pillage a community and so what it is for a man is to get more comfortable with his own sexuality to own the power of his talk but not in a way that he. Abuses and manipulates others because of that and this you know as you really get into intimacy and sexuality. It's really where one of the things that I appreciate about tamtra is just it deals with this as well. It's not the only thing tamtra isn't all about sexuality. It's just one of the pieces that we. Include and work with in a way that becomes more integrative you know because a lot of a lot of men if they've had their arrows or their sexuality shut down for a lot of the life and then finally they find it they can become a bit manipulative and abusive with it. So it's not that. That's the solution either. It's about actually knowing the power of his eros so that he can self circulate a field of energy with his own own erotic channel by not needing to find porn. Which is a huge issue with so many men I think that alone would be an entire podcast. Um because a lot of men. They outsource all of their erotic interest and sexualuality to porn and then they you know they ejaculate they have 2 or 3 second sneezes and.
42:44.23
calltocourage
Yep.
42:57.50
Aaron
They go about their life half asleep at the wheel and then it just becomes this addictive cycle where they're getting addicted to the the you know all of the hormones that are released in pornography. So any man listening if you're still watching porn stop like I know like that's tough. And it's challenging but 1 of the best things you can do in your life is to remove porn from your life. Not to say that there can't be beautiful conscious porn that you can watch but pornography like I mean there's a great book I've been listening to recently called your your brain on porn.
43:22.81
calltocourage
And.
43:34.88
Aaron
And it really dives deeper into the results and what's happening you know and you're seeing young generation of men I mean women as well. But we're speaking into men young boys who you know are getting addicted to viadbra and getting addicted to to watching porn and by the time they're. You know, 24 25 years old they're already having you know erectile issues because they've they've completely abused their cock for the first you know 105 years of their sexuality. It's it's actually pretty horrific. What's happening with that.
44:09.64
calltocourage
Yeah, and Porn also gives many of us an incorrect view of what women's pleasure looks like you know how long it takes for a woman to get turned on exactly what their pleasure looks like exactly what you know intimacy looks like for a woman. So.
44:16.88
Aaron
Yeah.
44:26.13
calltocourage
There's that piece I think the other piece with with pornography is that it almost always gets to this place where a man ends every sexual engagement with and an ejaculation which continues to reprogram us to the sense that we need to be ejaculating every time we have a sexual engagement. Is Semen retention and the practice of conscious ejaculation something that you talk about and teach practice.
44:49.75
Aaron
Yeah I mean it's something I've been doing for probably the last just about 10 years now um you know I've gone through different cycles of it. There's there's breathing practices you can do.
45:03.63
Aaron
There's a lot of um, you know ways to work with your sea and I'm not one of these tamtra teachers that says thou shall never Ejaculate. You know there's some people out there in the world that kind of vibrate in that way I do think that it's good about having a conscious relationship. With your ejaculation and also understanding that a man like I'm Multi-orgasmic I can have many orgasms and lovemaking and I'm not ejaculating like I tell that to a lot of men sometimes and they're like what what?? What? How? What do you.
45:27.60
calltocourage
Are present.
45:36.18
calltocourage
Can you explain that anyway for someone listening to this. It doesn't recognize what that is can you dive into that.
45:36.71
Aaron
But do you even mean what that doesn't make any sense.
45:43.22
Aaron
Um, yeah for sure. So the ejaculation is a you could say a byproduct that happens in the body as a result of of ejaculating to create life. But there's about a 2 to 3 second. Moment before ejaculation that the body goes into an orgasmic state. So when you can begin to train and to breathe the body to to not go into ejaculation and to actually. Breathe that energy through the whole body then you can begin to unlock more life force energy. You could call that Kundulini and begin to be more multi orgasmic and the result is especially you know like I'm I'm turning forty one in a couple weeks. Um. And I you know I want to be making love until I'm you know 8090 years old there's no reason I wouldn't be doing that and so if I'm ah ejaculating every day. There's some studies I don't know if they're real, but you know we'll say that a man only has so many ejaculations.
46:39.11
calltocourage
Fred.
46:49.50
calltocourage
Rat.
46:51.31
Aaron
And I notice for myself like if I ejaculate it's not that I'm like overly tired the next day but I do notice a change in my own energy and I find that when I you know take that ejaculation and I move it through my whole body. Then a I want to make love the following day and I want to make love later on in the day and I can you know make love for 3 to 4 hours like you know the current beloved I spend time with we often make love for at least 2 to 3 hours when we come together. Not all the time but fairly often like love making is a. Beautiful healing modality that brings us back home into our heart and it's such a deep way to connect with our with our loved one, you know and the reality is most people's lovemaking lasts for 5 to 7 minutes but that's atrocious and that's that's on the that's on the high but but it's just crazy.
47:52.65
calltocourage
Ah I mean I think I think on the same thing there's this place as well. Where a lot of men understand that in order to be able to run a marathon you need to put the miles in and to be able to build up the endurance and to get the body. Used to being able to run long distances and so if we were to want to have a place where we want. Let's say for example, a man wants to be able to make love to his partner for 2 to 3 hours but he's watching porn for 2 to 3 minutes and always ending with an ejaculation. It's akin to training. Ah, hundred metre sprints and then going out there and hoping you can run a marathon your body doesn't have the ability to be or the awareness to be able to stretch into that space and so the way to be able to get to a place of training to be able to have longer lovemaking sessions and to have lovemaking sessions. Where you are Rewiring the the neural pathways that we've engrained over 5000 ejaculations or having been we've had since we've been teenagers is to connect with your earros and not ejaculate every single time. So the combination of connecting with yourself in self-pleasuring. While not outsourcing your your pleasure to pornography or to running fantasy and genuinely practicing by yourself and giving yourself 10 to fifteen twenty minutes of self-pleasuring practice is another way to be able to get to that place as far as I understand to what you're talking about which supports longer lovemaking sessions. It's.
49:22.48
calltocourage
Going for a longer run instead of training the sprintz and hoping you can run a marathon.
49:25.71
Aaron
Yeah I Love that analogy and it and it's just it's so accurate and it also just you know, requires a man. And also a woman you know a lot of women almost feel like if a man doesn't ejaculate in lovemaking. They've done something wrong. So If you're a woman listening to this like let go of that and and and give some spaciousness. Especially.
49:44.90
calltocourage
Ah.
49:51.36
Aaron
If your man is starting to practice more of a you know semen retention. But the thing I say to man if you really want to get masterful to last for more than 5 to 10 minutes it's about the self pleasureasure. It's about being able to take yourself to a 7 or an 8 and then bring yourself back down to a 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 to 10? It's a lot easier to do it in your own self pleasureure than you know when ah when you're beautiful. Beloved is is riding you. You're like oh my god it's so good. It's like it's it's challenging. You're just going to end up ejaculating and then perpetuating the pattern.
50:11.43
calltocourage
And.
50:21.21
calltocourage
Yeah, that's race day. Yeah.
50:27.50
Aaron
And again, it's up what what's up.
50:30.91
calltocourage
That's like the marathon day right? You got a view all the excitement of being with your beloved you really have to have trained to be able to get to that edge and be able to pull back and that's where the self-pleasuring supports.
50:38.24
Aaron
Yeah, absolutely absolutely and it's just you know to me, you know and the other question I see come up with with self pleasure or you know seeming retentions men are like but I I need to release the the semen. The doctors are telling me I need to release the semen and yeah I like. For me I find if I've gone over about a month month and a half and generally probably have an ejaculation. That's where I'm at that's generally what feels good? Um, but what happens is just the process you could call it. Um transmutation. Basically it's like if I have an ice cube in my hand right now.
51:04.87
calltocourage
Um.
51:15.21
Aaron
Eventually that ice cube is going to begin to melt in. It's going to change form So the seed the semen that's inside of your your testicles. It has a transmutation capacity. So as you're breathing it through the body it begins to transmute into energy into form into more.
51:17.96
calltocourage
Here.
51:34.82
Aaron
A multiorgasmic state and to connect the lines even more the reason it's so important for a man to have a healthy emotional body to be multi orgasmic is that if he doesn't have a healthy emotional body when his body begins to get on that scale of 7 or 8 or 9 and he doesn't know how to breathe and sound and feel the body says I don't know what to do with all this intensity abort abort like let get me out of the situation. So ejaculation you know. 2 or 3 seconds sneeze and then the man goes back to sleep. But if you've trained your body to breathe to feel ah and to sound and these are all the transmutation principles that help the body be able be able to take the seed. The semen and be ah, be able to move it through your whole being.
52:28.22
calltocourage
So Good. Can you speak into intentional ejaculation like getting to this place of recognizing that. Okay I do actually want to ejaculate at a specific time like what is the practice of perhaps bringing sacredness and to the intention that you use and maybe. Frame of Sex magic for somebody that is interested in understanding a little bit more about when you do ejaculate what could that practice look like for somebody.
52:54.89
Aaron
Yeah, absolutely you know ejaculation. The first thing to understand with that is it's a sacred elixir. You know you and I are having this conversation because your mom and dad my mom and dad came together and seed and and egg. You know, sperm and egg met to trade life. So the first important thing with a conscious ejaculation is a man having a healthy relationship with his own ejaculate you know and that that should mean a wide variety of different things like you know there's an example. Um. Ah, two friends of mine who I teach with one of the school they they came across this guy years ago. You know they were out and about I think they were in Australia he was probably in his like I think late seventy s and had this face that looked.
53:41.81
calltocourage
Ah.
53:46.20
Aaron
Like you know he was like 25 and they're like all right like what's your secret and he said do you really want to know like yeah, like well how old do you have such a young face like you're clearly you know the rest of his body was a little bit older but they could see his face was just so Young. He's like when I was you know 18 I Met someone who instructed me one of the best things you can do is every day and this is you know I wouldn't say this is conscious ejaculation. This is just an example the potency of seed every day or whenever you ejaculate to take that seed and actually use it. As a cream on your face and so he had done that for his entire life. You know? and so this man had of had an incredibly youthful face that just shows the potency and the power of seed a lot of men ejaculate and they're like oh oh I don't I don't want anything near it. It's There's so much power to it. You know it might sound even crazy as well and I'm sure this might trigger some men that are listening but what if you were to even take the seed and like try your own seed to have a relationship the same way. A woman who is bleeding might begin to have a relationship with her own blood. You know to have a relationship with your own seed. And then when it does come that time when you know you feel that you're drawn to ejaculate. Maybe you're making love is to put a strong intention into it to really like you know if you're not creating a child.
55:14.55
Aaron
Like what's the potency of what you're seed wanting to represent. This is really the gateway into Sexts Magic. It's a gateway into taking the ineffable the the intentionalities the manifestation and grounding it into ritual and practice.
55:22.60
calltocourage
And can.
55:32.86
Aaron
That can begin to make changes in your day-to-day world. So that when you do ejaculate, you're ejaculating into matter you're ejaculating into creation and you're utilizing it as a as a powerful tool for manifestation.
55:50.18
calltocourage
I love that so much then there's so much in there I want to say that for yeah for anybody listening to this whether you're going to ejaculate or not I think it's a really powerful thing is to set an intention with your beloved before you start making love? What is it that you want to call into your life. You know that act of lovemaking. Has the power to bring another being into this matrix and when you hold an intention of what else you want to manifest like you said bro, you know it's a really powerful time to hold that intention in this this sacred lovemaking space and to be able to call it in by connecting to this powerful energy of creation and so yeah I love that I love that practice. I also want to say to anybody else about the thing that may trigger them is I wish we would all just grow up about our bodily fluids. You know we're also freaked out by it. But you know like urine so urine cycling is really good practice. You know why would your body not. Know exactly what your body needs in order to be able to support you through practices like drinking your own urine and for people that have not looked into that. It's something you might want to look into but the same thing like if you think about how powerful your seed is it's got the power to bring another being into this matrix and make it live for eighty or ninety years why would that not be nourishing for your skin or to replenish that energy by putting it back into your own mouth and develop a conscious relationship with it I think it's really really powerful and as soon as we give ourselves permission to do that it lets go of a lot of the shame that we've been.
57:16.39
calltocourage
Putting into our right be suck and I can putting it into the laundry rather than actually just being present with just how powerful that is.
57:21.54
Aaron
Absolutely absolutely. Yeah.
57:26.29
calltocourage
Um, talk to me about your new podcast. It has the title leadership in it along with a couple of other terms that don't seem to go with leadership but I'd love to hear the title of the podcast and what what you're thinking about bringing to the world through that creation.
57:40.40
Aaron
Yeah, so it's it's called love sect and leadership. Um, and to me these are kind of my worlds coming together I've been teaching around sexuality for many years now um, you know I'm the the picy and soul in me that loves love and loves to you know write and understand and and teach about love and not just romantic love but like love that's connected to pure spirit. That's pure. You know god consciousness if you will. And how these 2 pieces weave themselves into the the place of are we showing up as a leader in our tribe in our community in our family and how can we move through the shame that we might have our own our sexuality. To embrace more love so that we path the way forward as the leader emanating the wisdom of our soul moving forward into the world. So yeah, the the podcast is set up. It's some of my live teachings and recordings from some of the workshops and retreats that I do. Um, I'm having a lot of beautiful conscious conversations with colleagues and friends and fellow teachers and speakers in this field. Um, and then yeah, it's also some some previous interviews and things I've done like when I launched my book I did a bunch of.
58:59.77
Aaron
Amazing interviews then with great you know world class speaker and teachers. So it's kind of a infusion of of a few different things all coming together I'll be releasing an episode once a week and we'll be on that for for quite a while. There's a lot of content out there that I'm looking forward to sharing.
59:15.71
calltocourage
Great. What's your what makes a good leader. What's the definition of a good leader for you.
59:23.62
Aaron
Um, yeah I Love this Question. You know a good leader has the capacity to listen deeply as well as a capacity to go against the the grain. To go against the Common. You know if everyone's going one way. The good leader has a capacity not to always go the other way but to listen to the directionalities that both decisions bring forth and be able to make an embodied decision from the Heart. You know a good leader to me is one that isn't just leading from the mind that's trying to have power over people but actually from an embodied awareness inside. That celebrates the leadership in others and isn't trying to validate his own ego and his own leadership through his decision makings or her decision makings a good leader simply brings others on to his or her shoulders so that he can then rise. And they all can rise together. So A good leader is integrating all of these different pieces together and has the capacity to create new ways of being on this planet and and create a a level of listening deeply to the heart that I feel like a lot of.
01:00:50.14
Aaron
Leaders think that you know are only focused around again. Logic reason understanding a good leader to me is deeply embodied.
01:01:00.90
calltocourage
Brings you all the way back to your book share share your recent journey I know this is something you spend a lot of time doing you recently did the juice fast.
01:01:02.38
Aaron
Um.
01:01:11.53
calltocourage
Talk about why you did that what some of the benefits were and why you have that as ah as a practice in your life.
01:01:15.35
Aaron
yeah yeah I try to do I do every year sometimes more than once a year some sort of juicing or cleansing or purifying some time where I let my digestive system just have a little bit of a rest. Um, juicing I really enjoy they you know I've heard studies saying you do juicing for thirty days and every cell in your body totally gets changed around. So. It's a really great process of of just listening more deeply and letting some of the. Systems and the the organs and the the pieces inside the body begin to purify themselves more and more and with juicing there's different supplements I take I usually am doing enemas. Um, I'm giving time each day for my body to slow down so that I can really purify itself from within.
01:02:10.77
calltocourage
So good I'm sure that's also an entire podcast on its own. What's one of the topics that you like to speak about that. We haven't yet spoken about on this this episode bro. What's what's something you want to bring.
01:02:14.45
Aaron
For sure. But but.
01:02:26.25
Aaron
Yeah I mean yeah I think what's you know it's exciting or or necessary or interesting to me. You know I always like to speak about the things that.
01:02:28.52
calltocourage
Doesn't have to be about men's work. It can be anything.
01:02:43.59
Aaron
Listener who's tuning in can actually make a change in their day-to-day life and the the thing I want to say and speak into is that I hear sometimes people you know they're they're sitting back and and they're you know watching Netflix and they're you know expecting. Ah, the world to change but they're not dragoning the difference. They're not you know, inspiring and and saying hey I want something to be different then go out there and do it like I say this to men all the time they're like there's no men circles in my local community I'm like raise your hand. You're the leader. There's no circles in your community go be the leader if there's something you want differently in your community stand up and make the change like that's where things change when we just sit back and we get upset because things aren't happening in the way that we want them then go out and inspire.
01:03:23.67
calltocourage
Um, yeah.
01:03:38.92
Aaron
If you inspire 1 person today simply with with the the wisdom inside of you to make a change in the world and that makes such a difference and I think that conversation you know is so necessary just people are often waiting for a permission field.
01:03:44.12
calltocourage
Are.
01:03:56.98
Aaron
Waiting for someone to show up to say hey you can go do this I Want to say right now if there's something you know you've been sitting on for a long time. You've been like I'm waiting for that day I'm waiting for that moment waiting for that celestial moment in time when all the stars are gonna align. Well.
01:04:01.39
calltocourage
Um, ah.
01:04:15.45
Aaron
Just what it's happening right now. It's happening right now when you're listening to this podcast listening to the sound of my voice go and do it because that's the way our world becomes a better place. That's the way our world begins to be inspired by those that are willing to make those changes.
01:04:18.10
calltocourage
You're out.
01:04:30.70
calltocourage
Mark Drop I think that's a good place to to say? Thank you so much for making the time for this brew. Yeah I love seeing what you're putting out into the world. It feels good to have you yeah like ah a brother in the same space supporting men I feel just how potent this work has been for me like. And raveling some of the shame and guilt that I've had around my own sexuality getting to a space of feeling deeply connected and vulnerable with other men. It's just been fucking transformational for me and it's the reason that I have this show and I do the work that I do and yeah, feeling you and your power and how much life force you're putting behind this is. Yeah, it's an honor to call you a friend and a brother. So thank you mama.
01:05:14.52
Aaron
You're very welcome and thank you for holding these and inspiring the way and doing the work you're doing with the man and you know and and holding the full strong relationship point as well. And yeah, really celebrate you man your beautiful brother and I'm grateful that you're in my life.
01:05:29.44
calltocourage
Thanks man I will um include it in the show notes. But where can people get hold of you if they want to see what you're up to where can they get the book. What's the best way to connect with you.
01:05:36.96
Aaron
Yeah, so if you're on Instagram you look up the soulle navigator s o ulnavigator you can find all my links and everything there if you're going to the website. It's just my first name Aaron a a Rronplinerman Kleiner and an.com and you can find all the information there and if you go to the embodied man book you can you can find that leads right to the page. So.
01:06:05.44
calltocourage
Epiffic brother conway til we can connect in person and give you a hug in person but for coming on here I Really appreciate it and yeah till we meet again but much. Love. So.
01:06:13.13
Aaron
Absolutely thank you Brother job.
