#79 Triggers Are Treasures: Why Your Most Uncomfortable Moments Are Doing You a Favour with Hans Comyn
Gareth sits down with his friend Hans Comyn, a relationship coach in Colombia, for an unscripted conversation about what it actually takes to build a conscious, evolving relationship. No script. No plan. Just two brothers sharing notes on the frameworks they use in their own relationships and the men they coach.
What You'll Learn
- Why triggers are treasures. Every uncomfortable reaction in your relationship points to something in you that hasn't healed yet. Learning to read your triggers instead of reacting to them is the fastest path to growth.
- The three-step framework for an intentional relationship. Invitation, a shared game to play, and a regular check-in. Without this, most couples drift by default instead of designing the relationship they actually want.
- Why passion doesn't have to die. The early chemistry fades in every relationship. What replaces it when built intentionally, is a deeper and richer form of intimacy. Knowing this stops men from mistaking a natural shift for a sign something's wrong.
- The Phoenix Principle. Instead of trying to patch a relationship that's grown stale, Hans argues for honouring what it was, letting it end, and consciously building something new. This reframes "ending" as a tool for growth, not a failure.
- How your relationship with your mother shapes your relationship with women. Gareth and Hans trace Hans's own pattern back to his childhood, live on the call. A useful model for any man trying to understand why he repeats the same dynamic in relationship after relationship. (If you want to identify your own relationship pattern, take Gareth's free 5-minute Pattern Recognition Assessment: https://connect.fatherssonsbrothers.com/mother-wound-assessment/
From the Conversation
"Triggers are our treasures. There's real magic in that." - Gareth Pickering
"Instead of trying to amend what has gone wrong, honour what has been, celebrate what has been, and start again." - Hans Comyn
"Passion does not have to die. What does die is that initial attraction, that chemistry." - Hans Comyn
Join the Academy
You are not broken. You just never had any relationship training.
The men inside the Academy are already awake. Like you, they know their power, abundance, and truth already live inside them. They join because they're self-aware enough to know that even awake men forget sometimes, so they surround themselves with other conscious men who remind them.
If this conversation landed for you, the Academy gives you the tools, the structure, and the brotherhood to take it further: fatherssonsbrothers.com/academy.
About our guest
Hans Comyn is a Renaissance man with a passion that spans across art, philosophy, sports, and more.
His diverse experiences as an artist, athlete, scholar, traveller, and philosopher have equipped him with profound insights which he uses to assist entrepreneurs to bring more Adventure and Romance to their lives.
He is also the author of The Way of a Seducer, a book exploring the art of attraction, seduction and masculine confidence.
Connect with him on:
Website, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook
About your host
Gareth Pickering is an artist and thought leader. His inspiration is to create spaces for men to have open, honest conversations that shift their mindsets and help them live life to the fullest. He’s a human connection specialist who guides others to level up with their lives through “relationships”. Relationships are a rocket ship for personal development. Gareth provides the tools and maps to fly and land your rocket safely.
Connect with him on:
