#12 How to keep your sex life alive and not lose yourself in your marriage.

Season #1

  • Has the rhythm of intimacy in your marriage changed?
  • Has the lack of sex in your relationship become an unspoken elephant in the room?
  • Do you want to rekindle the flame with your partner but feel uncertain about how to do that?

Our closest relationships reflect our most powerful stories and patterns. They're a mirror for our deepest desires and an opportunity to stir up our unintegrated shadow. Combine this with our cultural awkwardness around intimacy and an unrealistic perception of how our sex lives should look - and it can leave you feeling bewildered, frustrated and sad.

In this episode, Matt and Gareth share their various journeys of keeping the flame alive in their connections. Matt, who recently became a father, shares his journey back to intimacy with his partner - who is going through her journey with her body after having a child. He shares their commitment to radical honesty and a safe way to pause when either of them needs to regroup in their intimate moments.

Gareth and his partner have decided not to become parents and share the challenges of keeping things spicy as they approach four years together. In addition to the commitment to honesty, he shares a tool called "fears and desires" that he uses before each love making session to create a safe and harmonious container for intimacy.

In the last ten minutes of the episode, Matt and Gareth share their wins and lessons as they reflect on season one of the podcast. Gareth previews the upcoming season and the next iteration of Fathers Sons Brothers, including free digital men's circles and the Fathers Sons Brothers Partner program that you can use and facilitate in-person meet-ups in your community. To find more, join our mailing list and the Call To Courage Conversation at https://calltocourage.live/

Thank you for your support and attention through season one, and we hope that you've enjoyed our creation as much as we've enjoyed creating it.

Support Resources:

  • Postgame for a phase PDF handout and journal prompts here.
  • Porn, Vasectomy and Sex Magic - episode 5 is here.


(00:01:45) - Introduction
(00:03:05) - Matt shares his intimacy challenges with an eight-month-old.
(00:05:20) - Gareth says an analogy of how to think about relationships in phases.
(00:06:35) - The importance of communication Matt's "baba ghanouj" safeword.
(00:08:44) - What to do when you get stuck in your head during lovemaking.
(00:11:11) - How do we know what we want? The importance of owning desires and owning our "no".
(00:15:39) - Gareth shares a communication framework for lovemaking that includes dears, desires and sex magic.
(00:17:49) - Matt shares his journey back to intimacy with his partner after becoming parents for the first time.(00:20:35) - Gareth shares a post-game for a relationship phase.
(00:24:32) - 5 Steps to follow to postgame a past relationship or past relationship phase.
(00:27:40) - How to include your partner and do a postgame together. 
(00:30:05) - A herd of invisible elephants.
(00:31:00) - A reflection of season one of the Call To Courage Podcast.
(00:32:30) - Lessons we've learnt from 12 episodes.
(00:35:25) - Gareth shares how he's studying his Human Design and optimising his workflow to suit his unique design.
(00:36:55) - Matt updates on his Call To Courage and his $4,000 order delivered.
(00:39:51) - Gareth shares an update on his Call To Courage and our plan to roll out a program of free men's circles.


Join The Conversation:

Do you want to participate in courageous conversations? Inside our private telegram group, you can ask questions of our guests and connect with other tribe members to shape our podcast conversations.

Request an invite to The Call To Courage Conversation at https://calltocourage.live


About your hosts: 

Gareth Pickering is an artist and thought leader. His inspiration is to create spaces for men to have open and honest conversations that shift their mindset, create connections and live as courageous fathers, sons and brothers.
Connect with him on: 

Matt Dahse is a father and conscious creator, designing pathways for men to follow to unlock their potential and step into their power.

This audio experience is a Fathers Sons Brothers production.